


When They Found Each Other

by CecilWolford



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: All is not well, Alternate Universe, Angst levels will rise and fall, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, But Zoe is too, Cartoon references, Connor and Jared have heterochromia, Connor doesn't kill himself, Don't Ask, Drug Use, Established Relationship, Evan and Connor help each other, Evan is a pure cinnamon roll and I can't handle it, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, For the most part, Help, Homophobic Language, I should've mentioned that earlier, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jared is a little shit, Larry is a dick, M/M, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Protective Connor, References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Suicide Attempt, There's no smut but things will get heavy in later chapters, This is a pretty unhealthy relationship, This shit gets really fluffy hold on to your hats folks, Zoe and Connor kind of get along, Zoe is little shit 2.0, and it's because they're gay, and it's there for maybe a minute, high school fucking sucks okay?, i added a few things horray, i don't wanna tag unhealthy relationship, jesus christ i've never written about a gayer ship, much to larry's dismay, only from connor though, other musical references, probably heathers, sorry - Freeform, their friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond, they're on the same page but completely different paragraphs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CecilWolford/pseuds/CecilWolford
Summary: Evan wasn't sure what to expect that day when he went back to the orchard. He certainly hadn't expected to catch Connor Murphy in the middle of his own suicide, that's for sure. He also hadn't expected to develop feelings for the other boy within the span of three days.Connor never expected to be caught trying to commit suicide, especially by Evan Hansen, the kid he'd been secretly crushing on since their junior year. He couldn't be more fucked if it were his parents who caught him.As days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, the two boys confide in each other and they begin to unknowingly create something more than just an average kind of bond. It's something that neither of them expected, but they can't help but be okay with it and just enjoy that they saved each other from the darkness of their own minds.(Some of the chapters are going through editing at the moment)





	1. Caught

It was late in the afternoon and Evan was silently making his way through the orchard. It was completely void of people, since it had closed many years prior, so it gave him some time to think; but he didn't think he'd come back after the incident with his arm. Speaking of which, the cast around his broken arm had stayed blank. Nobody asked to sign it, and nobody cared to ask how he broke his arm in the first place. But that was fine. They didn't really need to know, anyway. But now, however, large letters written in sharpie spelled out a name: Connor. Sighing, Evan grabbed a small bag of Skittles out of his pocket and tore a small hole in the side of the bag so that he could simply dump a few at a time into his open hand. He ate them one by one until the ones in his hand were gone, along with the ones in the bag, as well. He crumpled the wrapper up into a tiny ball and dropped it into a small pocket on the outside of his backpack.

Adjusting the straps of his bag, he continued through the orchard, taking in the scenery and enjoying the silence. Kneeling down, his slipped his bag off of his shoulders and swung it around to put it in front of him. He unzipped it and reached in, grabbing his camera and standing back up to take a few pictures; the weather was perfect. Looking around, he held the camera up so that the lens was level with his right eye and he snapped a couple pictures of the falling leaves and the trees with the light shining perfectly through their branches. He went to snap another picture, but something up towards the top of the tree he was focusing on caught his attention. Using the zoom on the camera, he saw that there was a person sitting on a large branch about 50 feet up in the tree. Evan would've dismissed it as someone taking in the view, but all thoughts of that disappeared when he saw them stand up and jump right off of the branch.

Without a second thought, Evan threw his camera to the side and took off towards the tree where the person was steadily falling, somehow missing every branch on their way down.

 _How the hell is that even possible?,_ Evan thought as he ran. But that thought was gone almost as soon as he had thought it. The person was nearing the ground as fast as he was nearing the tree. He remembered how much it had hurt when he'd hit the ground after falling from the tree, and wondered how much it was going to hurt when he tried to catch whoever this was.

With a burst of speed, Evan ran forward and was standing directly where the person had intended to fall onto the ground. Looking up, he was shocked to see that it was Connor Murphy who was speeding towards him. Without a second thought, Evan readied himself and prepared to catch the falling boy.

* * *

Evan groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. He lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his head that had hit the ground and looked out to where the sun was setting in the sky; he hadn't been out very long. Looking over, he saw that Connor was standing about 20 feet away, leaning against a tree and smoking a cigarette. Evan slowly rose to his feet and quietly made his way towards his bag and his camera that he had left on the ground when he ran after Connor. After kneeling down and making a quick inspection, nothing seemed to be stolen and his camera lens wasn't too badly damaged from the throw. He went to move his injured arm, but loudly yelped in pain. After another quick inspection, this time on his arm, he saw that the cast had cracked on one side and while some of it was still holding on, it still left his broken arm unstable and caused him a great deal of pain.

"The fuck you doin' all the way over there, Hansen?"

He looked over his shoulder to see Connor flick his cigarette away and turn to face him, his face an expression of pure and unrelenting anger.

 _I'm going to get the shit beat out of me,_ Evan thought.  _I'm going to get the shit beat out of me and then I'm going to be left here for dead._

He watched, frozen in fear, as Connor stalked towards him, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes dark.

_Please let me survive this..._

When Connor was about two feet in front of him, Evan curled into a ball, holding his arms in front of his face and tightly closing his eyes as he looked away, preparing for the blow that was expected. But...it never came. Instead, Connor just stared down at Evan, a confused look on his face.

"What  _are_ you doing?" he asked and Evan slowly uncurled and hesitantly looked up at the taller boy.

"Y-You're not going-... You aren't g-going to beat me?" he quietly asked.

Connor barked out a short laugh. "Get the fuck off of the ground, Hansen."

"W-What? Why?"

"Oh, so you  _don't_ want a ride back to civilization so that you can get your cast fixed?"

Evan bit his lip and looked down at the ground, mumbling, "Not-..Uhm.. No, n-not really."

"Welp, too fucking bad. Get your shit and follow me." Connor sharply turned on his heel and began walking towards a black car that was parked a few feet away from the tree he had jumped out of.

Evan fumbled with his camera, but managed to get it in the bag and somehow succeeded in zipping it up with shaking hands. He stood up on shaking legs and slipped his book bag on before running after Connor, holding his injured arm close to his chest. Connor was acting like Evan hadn't just caught him jumping out of a tree and trying to take his own life, and it concerned the teen. Evan began to wonder about how many times Connor could've possibly tried this before but ending up failing.

" _Hansen!_ " Connor shouted as he stuck his head out of the car window. "I swear to god, dude, if you don't get in this car, I really  _will_ beat the shit out of you!"

Evan quickly made his way over to the car and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door and slowly climbing in. He maneuvered his bag off of his shoulders and sat it on the floor before reaching back and grabbing the seat belt. As he was about to pull it over his chest, the car suddenly flew forward and the belt slipped from his hand. He resulted to grabbing the handle bar by the window and glanced over at Connor; he had a large grin on his face and his knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the wheel. His eyes gleamed as light passed through the windows.

_Please let me get out of this car alive and not in a body bag..._


	2. Let's Talk

Evan nervously shifted in his seat as the car sped down the familiar road that led back to town. It was extremely silent, except for the unfamiliar song blasting from the radio; it was an awkward silence between the two teens. But Connor had decided to break it first.

"So," he began after clearing his throat. "what were you doing in the forest?"

"I-I was taking pictures of the trees," Evan quietly replied, holding his broken arm close to his chest.

"Hm. Really now?"

Evan nodded his head and pushed himself further back into the corner of the seat when he heard the tone of Connor's voice change.

Connor began tapping his fingers on the steering wheel; his chipped, black nail polish shined in the light of the setting sun.

"And you just so happened to come across me trying to kill myself?" His voice held no emotion, but he began to tightly grip the steering wheel in his hands so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

"I didn't-- I d-didn't know you were th-there," Evan stuttered.

Connor scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh,  _sure_ you didn't. You just so happened to be taking a stroll right by the tree I was jumping out of,  _right_?"

"N-No! Not really-- I-I-I mean--"

"You were  _just taking pictures,_ right!?"

Evan gulped down the lump forming in his throat. "I-I r-really was!"

By now, he was trembling out of fear. Connor was speeding down a now unfamiliar, dirt road. The music was still blasting out of the speakers, but neither boy was listening. Connor's eyes were narrowed and dark, and Evan could hear him grinding his teeth.

"That is such  _shit!_ You just came to see me fall to my death, so that you could go to school tomorrow and tell everyone how Connor Murphy  _finally_ offed himself!" Connor's face was red and his breathing was rapid as he tried to catch his breath.

"No! I really w-was just there t-t-to take pictures of the trees!"

"I don't give a fuck about the trees! I want to know how you didn't see my fucking car, which was parked literally five fucking feet away from the fucking tree! It was fucking  _impossible_ to miss!"

_He says 'fuck' a lot..._ Evan thought.

"I-I didn't see it, b-because I was wondering h-how you w-weren't hitting any branches o-on the way down!" Evan finally shouted back. He gasped when the car suddenly came to a screeching halt.

Both boys were breathing heavily from the rush of the argument. Suddenly, Connor threw his head back and started laughing. Evan watched with wide eyes as he laughed loud and hard; his hands were still tightly gripping the steering wheel.

"Y-Y-You didn't see me, because you-- Y-You were wondering how I wasn't hitting any branches!?"

Evan timidly nodded his head.

"That's fucking  _rich_!" Connor continued laughing and Evan took the time to admire how... _hot_ Connor looked like that; he wasn't ashamed to be thinking like this, he knew that he was into guys for quite some time now. But back to Connor... His brow wasn't furrowed in anger like it usually was, the light was hitting his narrowed eyes just right, making them seem to glow, and his dark hair fell over his shoulders and framed his face in all of the right ways. Not only that, but with the setting sun shining on him, Evan could barely contain the blush that was slowly but surely reaching the tips of his ears.

"Oh  _fuck,_ I haven't laughed like that in a  _long_ time, Hansen," he said, finally calming down and getting air back into his lungs.

He sighed and cracked his neck before reaching over and turning the radio down. There was a small moment of complete silence, before he cleared his throat.

"You uh, you might want to put your seat belt on," he muttered and Evan quickly did just that.

"Good. Now you can stop worrying about flying out the window, and I can drive my car like the fucking maniac I am."

Evan quietly giggled. "Y-You say the word 'f-fuck' a lot."

"Yeah, and you s-s-s-stutter a lot. What's your point?" Connor retorted, mimicking Evan's stutter.

The smaller boy's face flushed and he looked down at his lap. "I-I don't stutter like that..."

" _Sure_ you don't," Connor snickered. "Anywhore, let's get this show on the road."

Connor shifted gears and stepped on the gas peddle, sending the car flying forward and causing Evan to be pressed completely back against his seat. Connor made a sharp u-turn and headed back down the road, clearly going over the speed limit.

"Th-This isn't the c-correct way to drive a c-car!" Evan managed to yell over the wind blowing in through the open window.

Connor loudly laughed. "Oh, really? Then how about  _this?_ " With that, he floored the peddle and Evan began screaming, while Connor started cackling.

"THIS ISN'T ANY BETTER!" Evan screamed, but Connor wasn't listening. Instead, he blasted the radio once again. But even  _that_ wasn't enough to cover Evan's loud screaming.

* * *

Connor had eventually calmed down and lowered the volume on the radio and slowed his car down once they reached the main road. By now, it was completely dark outside and all of the street lamps were lit. There were very few cars that passed by as Connor drove down the street, but there were multiple people walking outside on the sidewalk. Evan leaned his head on the window and watched as they all passed by. Some were in couples, but most were alone, just taking a late night stroll.

"Hey, Hansen, just what the hell is so interesting about the random people walking by?" Connor gruffly asked as he stopped at a red light.

"W-What? Oh. It's-- It's n-nothing, really. I-I wasn't really looking at them. I was-"

"Looking at the trees?"

Evan's face flushed and he bit his lip as he began to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. "K-Kind of."

Connor chuckled and turned left once the light turned green. Evan couldn't understand him. One minute, Connor was so pissed off that he could barely breathe, then the next he was laughing and acting like nothing ever happened.

"H-Hey, C-Connor?"

Connor glanced over. "Hmm? What is it?"

"I was just-... A-Are you bipolar?"

The taller of the two seemed to think about the question before responding. "I guess you could say that I am; It's not really  _that_ big of a deal. My emotions are just clumped together in one big fucked up pile of shit. Now, where the fuck do you live?"

Evan quickly gave Connor directions to his house and Connor followed the directions, snickering when Evan began to stutter over a word so much, that he changed the entire sentence.

As they pulled up to Evan's house, Connor contemplated on saying something but Evan climbed out of the car before he could open his mouth.

"Um. Th-Thanks for the ride a-a-and everything," Evan mumbled, grabbing his bag and climbing out of the car, shutting the door behind him.

_C'mon, Connor. This is your one chance to make a fucking friend. Fucking take it..._ Connor thought, mentally yelling at himself.

"Hey Evan!" Connor called out the window and he snickered when the other boy jumped and spun around to face him. "I'll pick you up for school tomorrow!"

"But-"

"That wasn't a question! I'm picking you up, whether you like it or not!" Having said that, Connor floored the gas peddle and flew down the road, leaving Evan flushed and confused on his front doorstep.

 


	3. Promises

After lying to his mother and telling her what happened, Evan was drove to the hospital where he got a new cast, and then drove back home. As they climbed out of the car, Heidi began asking if he needed anything.

"Evan, please, talk to me!" she shouted once they were inside.

"Mom, I can't right now," Evan quietly replied as he made his way upstairs.

"Why? What are you trying to hide from me? And why didn't you tell me that your arm was hurting you before you told the doctor? I'm your mother, I need to know these things! Do you know how bad this could've been? Do you have any idea?"

"No, but I know how it could've easily been worse!" Evan shouted, spinning around to face his mother.

"How, Evan? How could this have been any worse?"

"MY PLAN COULD'VE WORKED!" Evan regretted his words as soon as he said them.

"Evan- What plan, Evan?" Heidi asked in a hushed voice.

No going back now, Evan realized. It was time to come clean. "My plan to off myself, mom."

His voice had cracked and he cursed himself for sounding so weak.

Heidi slowly made her way up to Evan and pulled him into a tight hug. "Evan, why would you do that?"

Evan could feel her shaking as he put his head on her shoulder and he tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "So that you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore and you'd only have to provide for yourself."

"Evan, that can't be the only-"

"It's not. Just... When senior year started, everything was too much for me to handle. I couldn't take it."

"Evan, sweetheart, I'm so sorry for not noticing sooner."

Evan shook his head as his mom pulled back. "It's- It's my fault for not telling you."

Heidi reached up and put her hands on Evan's shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. "Evan, you have to promise me something. Whenever things get so bad that you can't take it anymore, just talk to me. I might not always be here, but you have my phone number. No matter what I'm doing, I will always answer my phone when you call from now on."

"I promise," Evan quietly replied with a small smile.

* * *

The next morning while Evan was getting ready for school, there were three harsh knocks on the door.

_Who could- oH NO_

Tripping over the leg of his desk chair as he ran out, Evan sprawled out into the middle of the hallway. He had to get to the door before his mom or-

Too late.

Heidi opened the door and looked confused at the boy standing on her porch.

"Can I help you?" she slowly asked.

"Yeah, actually, is Evan here?" Connor asked and Heidi's face suddenly lit up.

"Oh, yes! He's upstairs in his room getting ready." Heidi stepped out of the way and motioned for Connor to step in. "So, who do I have the pleasure of meeting today?"

"Connor Murphy." Connor held out his hand and Heidi shook it.

"Well it's lovely to meet you, Connor," she said with a grin. "If you want, Evan's room is just upstairs, the bedroom all the way down the hall, you can go get him."

Connor smirked and began to make his way upstairs. Evan nearly screamed as he stood up and ran back into his room. He made sure that he was completely dressed before beginning to search for his bag.

"Hey, Hansen."

Evan whirled around to see Connor standing in the doorway, a smirk still present on his face. "You ready for a day at hell?"

* * *

As they walked into school together, it seemed like every eye was on them. Watching their every move and wondering how this happened.

"Hey, Hansen, calm the hell down, would ya?" Connor whispered, gently nudging Evan.

"Sorry," Evan quietly apologized, trying to push away the weird feeling he got when Connor touched him.

Connor cleared this throat then began to glare at everyone around them before shouting, "WHAT?" at the top of his lungs.

Evan giggled and the two made their way to first period together.

"Hansen."

Evan looked up at Connor. "Hm?"

"If those fuckers back there ever give you any trouble, you need to promise me right now that you'll tel me about it."

"W-Well-"

"Don't worry about me getting into trouble. Those bitches have bee giving me hell since day one of high school and right now, it looks like you've got a hell of a lot more on your plate than I do. So if the shit hits the fan, come and get me, okay?"

Evan nodded his head.

"Now fuckin' say it."

"What?"

Connor snorted, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. "You know exactly what I want you to say, Hansen. So just get it over with."

Evan let out a loud groan. "Fine! I promise to come and get you if.. If the shit hits the fan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I kept them in character enough! If you can't tell, I'm trying to move their relationship along but it's so hard to do when they're both sO HARD TO WRITE!


	4. A Cloudy Day

Evan's hand shook as he took down notes in his notebook and he finally just put his pencil down and put his face in his hands, blocking out the sub's voice.

" _Mr. Hansen!_ "

Evan's head shot up and he jumped in his seat, sitting up straight and looking up at the angry woman staring down at him. The class snickered and giggled, all except Jared and Alana, who gave him looks of sympathy. Alana looked back down at her paper, but Jared started loudly coughing and hacking, making sure that all eyes were on him, even the teacher's. She stopped lecturing Evan and turned to face Jared.

"Excuse me, Mr.-" she stopped to look down at the seating chart on the clipbord that she held. "-Kleinman. Is something the matter?"

"Well, Ms. Blake, other than the fact that you're yelling at a kid who has crippling social anxiety and it shaking like a goddamn leaf  _because_ of said anxiety, no."

Jared put his chin on his hands like a Disney princess and flashed the woman a shit-eating grin, watching as multiple expressions made their way onto her face. His eyes narrowed behind his glasses and he seemed to be silently daring her to say something else. But she didn't. She shut her mouth and quickly made her way back up to the front of the class where she continued the lesson.

Evan looked over at Jared, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. Jared simply grinned and gave Evan a thumbs up before looking back down at his paper and scribbling down what Evan could only guess were dicks (he was doing make-up work and he had to turn the paper in).

* * *

"So, I heard Kleinman did some shit to the sub today. Wanna tell me what that was about?" Connor asked, sitting down next to Evan at the otherwise empty table.

"She started t-to yell at me for sleeping i-i-in class, e-even though I wasn't, and Jared made her feel bad about my anxiety," Evan simply explained, taking a small bite of the Mac & Cheese the he had packed for lunch.

"Well it's sounds like she deserved to feel bad. So I guess that's Jared, one and Ms. Blake, zero," Connor said as he fiddled with his phone.

Evan softly smiled and took another bite of his food. He snuck a couple glances over at Connor and saw how nice he actually looked when he didn't have a look of death on his face. The fourth time Evan went to look at Connor, however, the other teen was staring back. Damn near choking on his food, Evan quickly looked back down at the table and tried to not shake.

"...What are ya, fuckin' gay?"

Evan quickly looked up to see Jared standing on the other side of the table.

"The fuck do you want, Kleinman?" Connor growled and Evan felt the tension between the two.

"Hey there, Connor. Love the hair, you got a trench coat at home to go with it?" Jared snickered as he sat down across from Evan.

"J-Jared," Evan hissed, looking over at the smirking boy.

"What? I'm just taking an interest."

"Kleinman, if it was my goal to shoot up the school, you can bet your ass that you'd be the first one dead," Connor sighed, cracking his fingers one by one.

"Nah, I'd have Evan to protect me," Jared replied, his smirk remaining on his face.

"No, because Evan would have the common sense to get the hell outta dodge before he got shot."

Evan gulped. "Guys, c-can you-"

"Not without his best friend." Jared sent Connor a challenging look.

"Who says  _I'm_ not his best friend?" Connor argued, narrowing his dark eyes.

 _This isn't going to end up going anywhere_ , Evan thought with a sigh.

 "Why would he be friends with someone like  _you_?" Jared asked.

" _Enough!_ " Evan hissed, not wanting to catch the attention of the entire student body. "Jared, if- If the only reason you came over here was to mess with Connor, m-m-maybe you should go sit somewhere e-else."

Jared tsked and narrowed his eyes at Connor then looked over at Evan. "I stand up for you and this is the thanks I get? Some  _friend_ you are, Evan."

He briskly stood and made his way out of the cafeteria, slamming the doors open and letting them slam closed behind him.

"Well, that was just wonder-fucking-ful," Connor said and looked over at Evan who had his head on the table. "Is..something wrong?"

"I'm sorry about that," Evan apologized, his voice muffled.

"Why are you apologizing for that dick?" Connor asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"B-Because it was my fault that he said all of that."

"How the fuck did you come to that conclusion?"

Evan heavily sighed. "I didn't s-stop him before it got serious."

"Yes you did," Connor said with a snicker. "I could've smacked his glasses right off his fuckin' face, Hansen. If you wouldn't have stopped us when you did, it could've ended a hell of a lot worse."

Evan sighed, lifting his head up and running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. I guess.. I guess you're right."

They made eye contact for a few fleeting seconds and something deep down in both of them bloomed. They both felt it, but were unaware of what it meant. At least, for the time being.

* * *

Connor listened as Evan went on about how Social Studies had been that day while they stood outside in the school parking lot, leaning against Connor's car.

"So basically, two guys got in a fight over whether or not Hamilton would've approved of how the government runs things now," Evan ended the story and Connor chuckled, a rare thing that he was doing more often now.

"Well, what about you?" Connor asked, nudging Evan with his elbow.

"Huh?"

"What do you think about it?"

"Oh. W-Well, I think that he would've had some... mixed thoughts about it. Hamilton in general was a-a very confusing person most of the time."

Connor nodded his head. "Okay, I see what you're getting at, Hansen."

 Evan jumped when something cold hit his shoulder. "W-What-"

He looked up and saw the sky was slowly being covered by dark gray clouds.

"Looks like it's gonna rain," Connor said, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. He glanced down. "You got a new cast."

"What? Oh. Y-Yeah." Evan nervously scratched at the part of his arm that wasn't covered by the cast or his shirt.

"You want me to sign it?"

"If- Only if you want to."

Connor pulled out a sharpie, the same one he used the first time, and pulled the cap off with his teeth before grabbing Evan's arm and writing his name in large letters on the white cast.

"There. Hey, at least we don't have to pretend that we both have friends this time." Connor snickered and Evan smiled.

"Y-Yeah."

"So you want a ride home?" the taller of the two asked, pushing off of the car.

Evan nodded his head and climbed into the passenger side after Connor unlocked the doors. He put his back on the floor of the car and quickly buckled his belt, already knowing what would happen if he didn't.

* * *

Loud music was the only thing that could be heard from the car speeding down the street of the quiet neighborhood and people, young and old, pulled back their curtains to see who was making the obnoxious noise.

"Ohmygod, Connor, you're going to get in trouble," Evan quickly said, trying to turn the volume down.

Connor just rolled his eyes and reached forward with one hand, grabbing Evan's wrist and struggling to hold him back. They were both grunting and snickering as they fought over the radio.

"Hey hey hey, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole," Connor said and Evan narrowed his eyes.

"You stole that from a show."

"So what if I did? Sue me. Fuckin'  _do it_!"

Evan giggled and sat back in the seat, unbuckling his belt as the car slowed down to a stop in front of his house. He reached down and grabbed his bag off of the floor before opening the door and looking back at Connor.

 _Oh god, what the hell is that?_ , Evan thought when he felt his heart speed up.

He gulped. "Th-Thanks for the ride, Connor."

"No problem. Same thing tomorrow?" Connor raised an eyebrow, sending a questioning look at Evan who nodded his head.

He climbed out of the car and waved at Connor as he drove away, then turned and headed towards his house.

 _Mom's home early,_ he thought, seeing her car in the driveway.

"I'm home!" he shouted as he walked in and dropped his bag by the door.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" Heidi asked as she walked into the room with a clothes basket in her arms.

"Good.. It was good, actually. Hey, m-mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?" Heidi gave her son a worried look when she heard something in his voice change.

"What would you say if.. if I told you that I like another guy?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer than I expected to make it, but I'm actually proud of it. This took me days to complete so I hope you guys like it! Jared finally got a big part in here, too! Yay!


	5. Breathe In, Come Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, this is really long, and involves Larry being a dick. Uhhh, homophobia warning. A LOT of homophobia from Larry.

After hearing Evan's question, Heidi slowly put the clothes basket down on the couch and turned to face her son.

"Evan, sweetie, are you trying to tell me that you like another boy?" she quietly asked.

"I-I-I-I-I mean- Yeah, m-maybe," Evan stuttered looking down at the floor.

When Heidi said nothing, Evan looked up to see her holding her hands over her mouth. He couldn't see her full expression and thought of the worst, but his worries were put to rest when Heidi put her hands down and Evan saw the wide grin on her face.

_Shit._

"Mom, please, don't- Please don't over-react about this," Evan practically begged.

"How can I  _not_ over-react?" Heidi asked, rushing at Evan and tightly wrapping her arms around him. "My baby has a crush!"

"Mom,  _please-_ "

"What's his name? Who're his parents? Do I already know him?" Suddenly she sharply gasped. "Is it Jared?"

"Oh my god, Mom, no, just-- C-Could you calm down a-a-a little? P-Please?" Evan's face and ears were beat red and Heidi had to stop herself from laughing as she backed off.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to calm down. This is just so exciting, though! I really do want to know what his name is."

"You remember that boy from today? The one that came to pick me up?" Evan asked and Heidi slowly nodded her head.

"Yes. But what does-  _Oh. OH._ "

Evan nervously laughed and smiled. "Yeah, well, that's him."

Unable to hold back, Heidi tightly hugged Evan again, and this time, Evan let her.

"You should invite him over for supper this week," Heidi said, pulling back and putting her hands on Evan's shoulders.

"What? Why?"

"So that I can properly meet him, of course!" Heidi was beaming as she smiled at Evan.

"Mom, he doesn't even know that I like him!"

Heidi tsked and put her arm around Evan's shoulders, leading him over towards the stairs. "Honey, if this boy, Connor, is smart, then he should be able to see how badly you like him."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Evan, I'm your mother. Of course it is."

The teen weakly laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Right."

Heidi smiled. "Well, do you want to talk about this anymore? About how you figured you were gay?"

"Well, I don't- I think I might be bisexual? I'm still interested in.. in girls, but just not...like... _that_ at the moment."

Heidi patted Evan on the back and nodded her head. "That's fine with me, sweetie. Now on another note, you look tired. Why don't you go upstairs and sleep for a bit? I'll get you when the food is ready."

"Are- Are you sure? Do you need any help with the laundry?"

"I've got it, just go on! You're a growing boy, you need sleep."

Evan slowly nodded his head and made his way upstairs, stopping when a loud yawn racked his body and brought tears to his eyes. Sniffling, he made his way up the rest of the stairs and had to nearly drag himself into his bedroom. He flopped down onto his bed and only had enough time to kick his sneakers off before he fell into the wonderful world of sleep.

* * *

Connor sighed as he lightly banged his head on the wheel of his car. He'd been at this for nearly ten minutes, just sitting parked outside his house and banging his head on the wheel.

 _Well fuck me..._ , he thought, slamming his fist down onto the dash.  _Who the fuck gave that little shit the permission to do this to me?_

He was referring to Evan, who had made him feel like he was walking on fucking sunshine. Evan, who made him feel like there was something worth waking up for now every day. With a low growl, he punched the wheel, causing the horn to honk. 

 "Fuck..." His voice cracked. He ran his fingers through his hair and slammed himself back against the seat.

Grumbling to himself, he pushed his door open and stepped out into the road. Slamming the door, he made his way onto the sidewalk and up the walkway to the front porch of his house where he gloriously slammed the door open and kicked it shut behind him. As he walked towards the stairs, he heard sounds coming from the kitchen, he figured it was his mom and was proven to be correct when he heard her call out to him.

"Connor, honey, how was school?"

"It was shit. By the way, I'm gay." As he made his way upstairs, he heard his mother sharply gasp and heard Zoe laughing.

"CONNOR! What in the world-"

"Mom!" he shouted, whirling around once he reached the top of the stairs. "Did I fucking stutter?"

"N-No! But-.. Don't you think that we should talk about this!?" Cynthia shouted back, worry clouding over everything else. "I mean, this is so sudden-"

She was cut off by Zoe blasting Diana Ross' 'I'm coming out' and loudly laughing. Connor rolled his eyes and made his way to his bedroom, kicking his door open and kicking it shut behind him. Sitting down on his bed, his pulled his notebook out of his satchel and flipped through the pages until he got to the one that he and Evan had wrote on during Study Hall in the library that day. They wrote on paper, because they weren't allowed to talk. If they did, there was a 50/50 chance that they would be attacked with books from the librarian.

_So, how's your day been?_

**Shit. How about you?**

_Shit_ _._

Connor snickered and continued reading.

**Happy to see that we're on the same page, Hansen. How about family?**

_Kinda shit, but it's okay._

**Good for you.**

The writing stopped there, for at that moment a jock had walked up and started shit with Connor. The librarian had attacked the boy with books while Evan tightly held onto Connor's jacket sleeve, stopping him from climbing over the table and beating the shit out of the guy. He deserved to be beaten, but Connor decided that it would be better to do it outside of school.

Connor shut the notebook and slid it between his matress and the boxspring underneath before untying his boots and kicking them off and laying back on his bed. He put his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling, wondering what Evan was doing at the moment. Well, until a knock at his door caught his attention.

"What?" he harshly barked.

The door opened and Zoe walked in, her phone still playing the song but it was quiet this time. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Listen, when dad gets home and mom tells him about  _that_ , if he over-reacts, just-... I'll be there to back you up, okay?" Zoe crossed her arms and looked away, but not before Connor saw all of the emotion in her eyes.

 _Shit.. I really_ am  _a shitty older brother..._ , he thought before sighing and standing up.

"Thanks," he said, sticking his hand out.

The smallest hint of a smile graced Zoe's features as she shook her brother's hand. "I'm glad we've come to  _something_."

Connor nodded his head then ushered her out of his room, claiming that he had  _teenage boy stuff_ to do, making her make a loud sound of disgust. "You're so  _gross!_ "

"And you're annoying, now let's leave it at that."

Zoe snickered and Connor realized how similar they sounded when they snickered. Connor shut the door and locked it then moved over to his dresser, opening it and grabbing a small ziploc baggie, grinning and walking back over to his bed, this time with a little pep in his step.

~Later That Night~

Connor contently sighed as he blew smoke out of his nose.

"Dayum!" he shouted throwing his head back and laughing.

"CONNOR MURPHY! GET THE HELL DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Connor's shrieking laugh echoed around his room and was followed by, "Daddy's home!"

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Connor stood up and made his way out of his room, stumbling on his way down the stairs.

"Connor, what is this that I'm hearing about you being gay?" Larry asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"I like dick; ball is life. You know, all that good shit."

"Connor, are you high right now?"

The teen snorted and laughed, nodding his head. "Of course I am!"

"Cynthia, are you listening to this?" Larry spun around to face his wife, who was silently sitting on the couch.

"Larry, please calm-"

"NO! Cynthia, do you  _not_ understand what's going on here? Our son is  _gay_!"

"So  _what_ , Larry?" she finally replied. "So what if he likes boys? I don't care! That doesn't make him any less of our son! Connor, honey, don't bite your nails like that."

"Sorry." Connor stopped and picked at the chipped, black nail polish instead.

"I think he acts better when he's high," Zoe said, scrolling through Snapchat on her phone. "He isn't yelling or threatening to go out and do some dumb shit."

"That doesn't-"

"Larry, please stop yelling," Cynthia sighed, rubbing her temples. "Why is this so hard for you to understand?"

" _Why?_ Well jeez, Cynthia, maybe I just can't understand how my son can possibly like being  _fucked_ in the  _ass_!" Larry screamed and Connor laughed.

"Dad, you've got it  _alll_ wrong. I'd be the one doing the fucking."

Zoe snickered; Cynthia's face turned red; Larry began to fume with anger.

"Nice one, Con," Zoe said, holding her hand up and putting back down after Connor gave her the high-five she wanted.

"Connor, I want you out of my house," Larry said in a quiet voice.

"Larry!" Cynthia gasped, looking over at her husband. "What in the wor-"

"Get the fuck out of my house!" Larry screamed, grabbing Connor by the collar of his jacket.

"Larry!"

"Dad!" Zoe screamed, standing up and trying to pull her father off of her brother. "Dad STOP!"

"The fuck you doin', old man?" Connor hissed, scratching at Larry's hands. "Get the fuck off of me!"

"I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" As he shouted this, he began dragging Connor towards the door. "I WON'T HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU UNDER MY ROOF! GET OUT!"

Suddenly, Connor spit in Larry's face and everything seemed to stop. Behind them, Connor could see his mom, red faced and panting, and he could see Zoe, her hair a mess and her eyes wide. Connor was heavily breathing as he looked back at his dad. With what little bit of strength he had left, he punched Larry in the gut and while the man was bent over in pain, he opened the door and ran out. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and instead of running to the driver's side, he dived in through the passenger side widow that he'd left open. Climbing over to the driver's side, he quickly started the car and pulled away just as Larry was coming out of the house.

As he drove down the street, his phone started going off.

"Yello?" he answered, putting the phone on speaker.

" _Connor, where are you going?_ "

"Hansen's."

" _Stay there. I'll come get you in an hour or two._ "

"Can do, sis." With that, he ended the call and put all of his attention on the road.

* * *

It was just after supper when Evan heard the knock on the front door.

"I-I'll get it," he said and Heidi smiled and nodded her head as she cleared the table.

Evan walked over to the door and pulled it open, gasping when he saw Connor. His hair was a mess and the zipper of his black jacket was broken.

"C-C-C-C-Connor!? W-What happened to you?" Evan asked as he quickly pulled the taller boy inside.

"Can I talk about it later? Right now I just kinda need to know if I can stay the night here." He seemed riled up and Evan didn't want to press on the matter very much at the moment.

Heidi, hearing the conversation, walked out and gasped. "Oh my- Connor! Are you okay? Sweetheart, you can stay here for however long you need. Do you need anything? Water? Somethng to eat?"

"Water would be nice," Connor replied and Heidi disappeared into the kitchen again.

"Connor, what-.. Who did this to you?" Evan quietly asked.

"Larry."

"Who?"

"My dad."

Heidi came out of the kitchen, this time holding a glass of water. She handed it to Connor who thanked her before drinking the whole thing in record breaking time.

"Evan, he can stay in your room, right?" Heidi asked, turning to her son who saw the glint in her eye.

"Y-Yeah. My bed is pretty big. A-A-And if you need something to sleep in, I have some-... I've got some clothes that are too b-big for me," Evan said and lead Connor up to his room.

He opened the door and shut it after Connor walked in. He scurried around, grabbing the over-sized clothes and handing them to Connor. "Y-You can stay in here a-and change or go to the bathroom."

Connor put the clothes down on the bed and began to take his shirt off. Evan's face turned red and he quickly spun around, waiting until Connor tapped him on the shoulder to turn around.

"Y-Y-You can take whatever side of the bed you want," he muttered and Connor simply flopped down.

Evan, already in his pajamas, giggled and pushed Connor out of the way before pulling the covers over both of them, seeing as how Connor was already asleep, and turned the bedside light off.

"Y-You better tell me what th-the hell happened to you in the morning," he whispered before closing his eyes and slowly allowing himself to be engulfed by the world of darkness, known as sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONNOR GOT A BIG PART! IT WASN'T UNDER THE BEST CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT IT HAPPENED! I'M SORRYYYYYY


	6. The Past

Connor loudly yawned as he slowly opened his eyes, squinting when bright light hit his face. Looking around, he realized that he wasn't in his room, but was in Evan's instead.

 _Oh shit, that's right...,_ he thought as he remembered last night.

Looking down, he saw that Evan was curled up against his side and when he looked further down, he saw that the smaller boy had swung his leg across Connor's middle. Connor chuckled as he saw how much Evan resembled a koala when he slept. Not wanting to wake his little crush, Connor settled back down and waited for Evan to wake up on his own. He looked over at the small calendar on the wall next to the bed and saw that it was only Wednesday.

"Fuck," he groaned, putting his arm over his eyes. "If there  _is_ a god, kill me now."

He looked down again when he felt movement against his side and saw that Evan was slowly beginning to wake up. He watched as Evan slowly opened his eyes and sharply inhaled when he saw how the other boy's blue eyes sparkled when the sun hit them just right.

 _I wonder how they look in the moonlight_ , he thought, and then,  _Shit that was really gay_

But he wasn't the only one thinking like that. Evan, not yet aware of his position, looked up at Connor and almost had to do a double take when he saw how Connor's eyes gleamed in the light of the sun. It wasn't the usual, hateful gleam that everyone had grown so used to.

"Mornin'," Connor said and Evan smiled at him.

"G-Good morning," Evan murmured, rubbing his eyes.

"So, you seem to be pretty comfortable," Connor pointed out, shifting slightly and sighing.

"What- OH. I-I-I-I-I'M S-SORRY!" Evan shouted, untangling himself from Connor to move backwards. To bad for him, the bed ran out of space before he was done moving back and he fell off and onto the hard floor instead.

Connor, unable to help himself, burst out laughing as he looked over the side of the bed to see Evan staring blankly up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Connor snickered. "I think I got that. But for the record, don't worry about it."

"Y-You know, you're actually-... You're r-r-really warm for someone who acts so cold. N-No offense!"

"Mm. None taken, Hansen. So, you feel like going to hell today?"

Evan groaned and put his arms over his face. "H-Hell no. Jared will just start sh-shit and I don't feel like...like dealing with him today."

"Boys! Breakfast is on the stove! I'm going to work now!" Heidi shouted upstairs.

Evan scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room then downstairs, flying into his mom's open arms.

Heidi laughed as she tightly wrapped her arms around Evan. "Well good morning, sweetheart. Is Connor awake too?"

"Y-Yeah. We just got up," Evan replied just as Connor appeared at the top of the stairs. "Did you eat yet?"

"Yes, honey, I did. Don't worry about me. Connor, you can come down here!"

Connor made his way downstairs to stand in front of Evan and Heidi. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Oh, call me Heidi. Listen, I want you and Evan to take care of each other, okay? I already called the school and told them that Evan wasn't coming in. Connor, if you want, you can text or call your mom and ask her if you can stay here instead of going to school. Also, I know I'm not your guardian or anything, but I would really like it if you could give me an explaination of what happened last night after I get home from work."

"No problem, Heidi," Connor replied and the woman smiled at him.

"Okay. Now the food is on the stove; Evan, your house key is on the hook by the door, and Connor you can put your car key on one of the hooks if you want to," she explained, then looked down at her watch and gasped. "Well, if I don't get going now, I'm going to be late. Be good, you two. Stay out of trouble and don't burn the house down while I'm gone."

She kissed Evan's cheek and then took a step forward and kissed Connor's temple. Then she turned and quickly left and nothing was said until the two heard her drive away.

"Hansen, your mom is fucking amazing," Connor said as he turned to Evan, who laughed and walked into the kitchen.

"Tell me something I don't know," Evan said, walking over to the stove.

"...You know you don't always stutter?"

"Yes. Yes I'm a-aware of that."

Connor snorted and walked up beside Evan at the stove. "Need anything?"

"W-Would you mind grabbing a couple plates?" Evan asked, pointing to the cupboard directly above him.

"No problem." Reaching up, Connor opened the cupboard and reached in, grabbing two plates and putting them down on the counter next to Evan before shutting the cupboard. "So, what's on the menu?"

"E-Eggs and bacon."

"Is it good?"

"Can pigs play video games?"

Connor furrowed his eyebrows and Evan laughed, rolling his eyes and putting bacon onto both plates. "D-D-Do you want over easy o-or scrambled?"

"Both."

"Connor-"

" _Both._ "

Evan giggled and shook his head, but put both on Connor's plate, then scooped some scrambled eggs onto his own. "I-If you want toast, go a-ahead and make some."

"Nah, I'm fine. Hey, are we allowed to eat in the living room?"

"Hm? Oh, y-yeah, that's fine."

Connor grinned, not surprising Evan as much as it would've two days ago, and ran into the living room, jumping over the back of the couch and landing cross-legged on one of the cushions.

 "Well, get the hell over here!"

Evan shuffled into the living room and walked around to sit down on the couch. He put the plate on his lap and began eating, waiting for Connor to say something, which he did.

"I swear if I have to get up-"

"Okay, okay! Here." Evan handed Connor a fork and giggled when it was snatched from his hand. "It's not m-my fault you f-forgot it."

Connor scoffed and stabbed the fork into the yolk of the egg on his plate. The two boys sat in silence, watching whatever it was Connor had put on Netflix and eating their food. It was so quiet, that both of them jumped when the phone rang.

"You guys have a landline?" Connor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For your i-information, we do," Evan said matter-of-factly. He reached over and grabbed the phone, holding it up to his ear. "H-H-Hello?"

" _Is Heidi there?_ "

Evan's eyes widened and he dropped his fork onto his plate before slamming the phone back down onto the base.

"Jesus! The hell was that?" Connor asked and Evan was unable to form words. "C'mon, Hansen, speak!"

Evan harshly coughed into his hand before looking over at Connor, who saw nothing but fear in the other boy's eyes.

"Hansen? What's wrong? You're freakin' me out."

"Th-Th-Th-That was my...my dad."

* * *

After the shock of the call, they finished their food then went into the living room and listened to the phone ring. Evan stood against the wall next to the tv and Connor sat down on the couch.

"So, what's the deal with him? If you don't mind me asking."

Evan sighed and tightly clasped his hands together. "He-... My dad wasn't the best man. Hah, h-hell, he wasn't the b-best  _p-person_. He was a...a drunk who beat my mom and w-when she wasn't a-around, he'd beat the shit out of me. I was nine by the time w-we got rid of him for g-g-good."

Connor could see that Evan was shaking and he didn't know if it was from fear or anger. But he believed that it would be better to let him get everything out before he decided to say something.

"There were s-so many times where I'd go to school and- and I-I-I  _knew_ and still know that the t-teachers could see the b-b-b-bruises a-and cuts from beer bottles, but.. but they never did  _anything._ Th-They saw a seven year old with bruises e-e-everywhere, and thought  _nothing_ of it." Evan was clenching his jaw so hard that it hurt and he was practically hissing through his teeth. "My m-mom couldn't do anything, because he always told her th-that if she went to the police, h-he'd kill me in front of her, and then he'd kill her. A-And the fucked up thing was that sh-she believed him. SHE F-FUCKING BELIEVED HIM, CONNOR!" His voice cracked at the end and the tears in his eyes finally flowed down his cheeks like waterfalls.

Connor quickly got up and walked over to the now sobbing boy. He wrapped his arms around the frail body and grunted when he was nearly suffocated as Evan tightly wrapped his arms around his middle and squeezed. He felt him clawing at the back of the t-shirt he was wearing, but he didn't care.

"Calm down, Evan. It-.. Everything will be okay."

"Y-Y-Y-Y-You can't say something like that," Evan whimpered.

"Yeah? Why not?"

"B-Because you can't p-p-possibly know how this will end."

Connor rolled his eyes. "Of course I not. But as long as you've got me with you, your drunk asshole of a father can go choke on the biggest horse dick he can find."

Evan sniffled and giggled, pulling back from Connor to wipe at his eyes. "Thanks. That's-- That's a-a really nice image that y-you've given me."

"Well goddamn, Evan, don't think about it!" Connor shouted with a grin.

The phone began to ring and Evan took a deep breath before letting go of Connor and walking over to it, picking it up and putting it to his ear once again. "Hello?"

" _I've been calling for almost half an hour. Is Heidi there or not, you piece of shit?_ "

"I-I'm afraid not."

" _Then who the fuck is this?_ "

"Th-This is her f-f-fucking son."

Connor snickered and put his hand over his mouth.

" _Wait-_ Evan?  _What the hell are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at school?_ "

"Shouldn't you be i-in prison f-for sexual assult?"

There was a lot of stuttering from the other side of the line and Evan rolled his eyes. "D-Don't ever call here again, or I-I-I-I'll call the p-police."

He slammed the phone down and unplugged the cord. When he turned to Connor, he was shaking like a leaf, but grinning like a fool. Connor suddenly rushed forward and smashed his lips against Evan's. Evan didn't have any time to react, because Connor flew back as fast as he could and turned away from him.

"Shit-- Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't-" He stopped when Evan grabbed his arm and he turned around to face the other boy.

"C-C-Connor, y-you have no idea how much I've b-been wanting you to do that," Evan quietly said and Connor knew that he was smiling.

"Well shit; guess I did something right for once. Hey, how about we forget about the past for a while and focus on the now?" He slowly wrapped an arm around Evan's waist while he reached up and with his other hand, brushed some of Evan's hair to the side.

"That...actually sounds r-really good right now. And y-y-you know what?"

"Hm?"

"I-I think I've been bringing out the best in you."

Connor chuckled and felt himself relax. It was nothing like how he felt when he was high. This was... _so much more_.

"Mm... Maybe. And I think _I've_ been bringing out the worst in _you_."

The two grinned at each other and for the time being, forgot about everything around them. The past, what was to come in the future... All that mattered was what was there between them now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...EVAN MY CHILD :,3 I'M SORRY
> 
> It's 4 in the morning here and I'm so tired, but I'm happy I finally gOT THESE TWO GAYS TOGETHER. Sorry if there's any misspelled words, autocorrect is being a bitch on my tablet/laptop thingie.


	7. It'll Come Back to Bite You

Evan sighed as he felt Connor run his fingers through his hair and gently massage the back of his neck, where a lot of his tension was from poor posture.

"You okay?" Connor quietly asked and Evan sighed.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine. Just really... _really_ tired."

Connor chuckled and patted Evan's back. "Sit up for a sec."

Evan sat up and watched as Connor laid down on his back and opened his arm. "Now come here."

Evan smiled and laid down on top of Connor, his legs in between Connor's and his head on the taller boy's chest. He grunted when Connor began to rub his back, working out the bad knots that just so happened to be from, you guessed it, terrible posture.

"Jesus fucking Christ. I knew your posture was bad, but  _damn_ ," Connor commented, struggling on working out a huge knot at the base of Evan's back.

"I-It comes with being s-s-s-socially awkward."

Connor snorted. "Oh really? How so?"

"I-I try to make myself a-as small as possible in social s-situations."

"That's fuckin' stupid."

"I know, but... I j-just can't help it!"

Connor hummed and closed his eyes. "Well that doesn't matter now, cuz you've got me, right?"

Evan nodded his head and Connor felt it against his chest.

"Can we watch something other than this bullshit?" Connor asked, referring to Invader Zim which was playing on the tv.

"Th-This isn't bullshit, it's funny," Evan retorted, but picked up his Xbox controller anyway. "What d-did you have in mind?"

"Moana."

"...Really?"

"What? Fuck you; Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the fuckin' music for it."

Evan rolled his eyes and searched for the movie, finding it easy enough and putting it on before putting the controller down on the floor again. He shifted and moved so that he could wrap his arms around Connor's neck.

"Connor?"

"Hmm?"

"So are we, like, g-going out now?"

Connor's eyes flicked away from the tv and he looked down at the other teen. "It's up to you if you want to be dating me. We could be fuck buddies." That was actually the last thing that Connor wanted.

"N-N-N-No!" Evan shouted, quickly sitting up.

"Evan calm down! I was kidding!" Connor quickly sat up as well and wrapped his arms around Evan's waist, bringing him back down and looking down at him. "Evan, it's up to you if you want us to be a thing. You already know how I feel, so go on from there."

Evan put his head back down on Connor's chest. "I like you...a l-lot, Connor. And I like the idea of u-us being together."

"Even if I'm a bipolar piece of shit who can't handle his own emotions and gets high?"

"...Well at l-least you're open about it. But, yes. Even if you are a-all of those things and do what you do, I'll still like you."

"Ehhhh, you're so cheesey."

"A-And you're salty."

Connor snorted and laughed, throwing his head back against the arm of the couch. "You have no idea."

* * *

They ended up falling asleep towards the end of the movie, Connor's arms around Evan's waist and Evan's arms around Connor's neck. Evan had managed to nuzzle his head up under Connor's chin and he had a small smile on his face. But both of them were woken up by the sound of a car door slamming shut.

"Who dares to wake me from my slumber?" Connor growled, not opening his eyes.

"Don't l-look at me," Evan muttered, lifting his head. "I'm just as confused."

Evan slowly got off the couch, stretching his arms over his head and grunting as his back cracked in multiple places.

"Christ, Hansen. Do you need a physical therapist? That shit sounded like it hurt."

"I'm fine," Evan replied, cracking his neck before making his way over to the front door. "Don't smoke weed while I'm up."

"Yes, mom!" Connor called back, sarcasm lacing his voice.

Evan giggled and turned the doorknob, pulling it open to see a rough looking man standing on the porch. His eyes widned and his mouth was suddenly dry. He tried to shut the door, but the man overpowered him and easily forced his way into the house.

"Get out of my house!" Evan screamed. His tone was hard and it honestly scared the shit out of Connor.

"What th- HEY! Fuckwit, the hell are you doing?" Connor shouted as he jumped over the back of the couch and walked over to Evan, coming to stand beside him and glare at the man.

The man cleared his throat before speaking. "Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm someone who can kick your ass all the way to Canada if I wanted to," Connor replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Get the fuck out of my house," the man growled and Evan stepped forward.

Connor realized that the two had the same blue eyes. The blue eyes that Connor now wouldn't be able to sleep without seeing.

"Y-You have no right t-t-t-to be here. Get the hell out of  _my_ house."

"Evan. You've grown. You look just like your mother."

Evan narrowed his eyes. "And you look like a-.. You look like a drunk who b-beats his wife and child, _Patrick_."

The man suddenly swung a right hook, surprising both teens in the room. Evan tried to back away and managed to, but the man's fist still connected with the right side of his jaw. Evan sprawled out on the living room floor and something flashed in Connor's eyes when he saw Evan spit out blood. He turned on the man that he had figured was Evan's father and slowly stalked towards him.

" _Leave_ ," he hissed, grabbing the man by the collar of his stained shirt. "Leave and don't fucking look back."

"Connor. Connor, stop!" Evan shouted, running over and grabbing Connor's arm, silently willing him to back off. "It's okay. I can handle him."

Connor hesitantly backed off of the man and his eyes widened as he watched Evan slam his fist into the man's stomach. "That's for beating us." Then he backhanded the man. "And  _that's_ for everything else. Now get the fuck out. This is what people mean by 'the past will come back to bite you'."

Seeing all of the rage in both teens' eyes, Patrick turned the knob on the door and pulled it open. "This isn't over, Evan. I'll be back when you don't have anyone to protect you. Tell you mom I said 'hi'." He walked out and slammed the door shut behind him.

Evan let out a big breath of air and fell to his knees. "I th-think I'm gonna have a.. a heart attack."

"Don't die on me yet, Hansen. We've still got prom to go to," Connor quietly said, getting down on his knees next to Evan.

The smaller of the two giggled and wiped at his eyes. Connor softly smiled and cupped Evan's face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over the boy's cheekbones.

"Are you okay?"

Evan nodded his head and leaned forward, resting his head on Connor's shoulder. The teen let his friend do what he pleased and he slowly wrapped his arms around his frail, shaking body.

"Is this okay? What I'm doing?" he asked, wanting to be sure.

"Yeah. This is.. perfectly fine," Evan quietly replied, closing his eyes. "Everything is fine n-n-now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *loud screaming* BEN WON THE TONY FOR BEST LEADING ACTOR IN A MUSICAL AND I'M CRYING. IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS HAVING A SEIZURE ON THE TOP BUNK OF MY BED. MIKE STOOD UP AND CLAPPED FOR HIM. BEN TEARED UP. I TEARED UP. RACHEL WON BEST FEATURED ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL AND SHE LOOKED SO NICE UP ON STAGE IN HER DRESS. SHE IS REALLY THE BEST MOM OMG. WILL DRESSED UP AND I WAS SURPRISED. WILL IS ACTUALLY A HUMAN BEAN. HE'S SMOL.
> 
> DEAR EVAN HANSEN WON BEST MUSICAL. I'M STILL CRYING. *CONTINUED SCREAMS*
> 
> On another note, Evan's dad is as much of a dick as Larry is. I could've given him the name Richard, but Patrick seemed to fit for some reason, idk.


	8. Calm Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a bit calmer than the others, since I got some feedback telling me that I'm kinda rushing things and I need to slow down. So this is going to be a casual chapter, no fucked up dads, just two fucked up souls bonding.

The two boys had eventually calmed down enough so that they could wash the plates and silverwear that they had used for their food, along with the other dirty dishes that were sat on the side of the sink.

"So," Connor said, drying one of the plates, "that was some punch you gave your dad. Where'd that come from? You were shaking like a goddamn leaf when we were watching Sleepy Hollow earlier."

Evan slid a few more plates into the soapy water. "I... I really don't know. J-Just seeing him standing there after all these years... I-... Connor, I really wanted to hurt him. Like,  _badly_."

Connor raised his eyebrows and grabbed the small plate that Evan held out to him, drying it off before putting it up in a cupboard with the rest of the plates.

"...Maybe you felt like you were obligated to do what you did?" Connor slowly asked and Evan stared down at the water.

"W-What?"

"Well, from what you've told me, it sounds like your mom never really fought back, and you were too young to do anything about what your dad did. So maybe now that you're older and can kinda defend yourself-"

"Hey! I-I take offense to that 'kinda'!"

"...Now you feel like you can get back at him for all of those years of abuse."

Evan sighed and scrubbed at another plate. "C-Connor, was your dad... Was he ever like that?"

"No, but he did try to beat the shit out of me when I came out. But, you know, he gave up on me a long time ago, so I didn't really care what the hell he did. I could've easily beat his ass, but my mom was there and Zoe already looked as white as a fuckin' cloud."

Evan nodded his head and handed the plate to Connor, waiting until he had a tight grip on it before starting on another one. "I think my dad was drunk."

"Hm? How could you tell?"

"Well, last year, I wasn't doing very well and Jared said that he had gotten a copy of his parents' liquor cabinet key made and if I wanted to, I could stay the night and we could get wasted. I told him about something I remembered my dad doing almost every afternoon after work. He'd mix different kinds of alcohol together and after one glass, he'd be wasted. He couldn't move his arms and he stumbled if he tried to do anything. I-.. That's when my mom and I would take the chance to hide the alcohol. She always told me that he wouldn't h-hurt us if he didn't h-h-h-have his drinks. Th-That turned out to be a lie. I remember how she hid m-me in her closet one night a-and-"

"Woah, Evan, calm down. You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. Calm down. Breathe."

Evan was tightly gripping the edge of the sink and his shoulders were hunched. "I'm okay... I'm..okay..."

"You look like you're about to piss yourself."

Evan laughed and straightened up, closing his eyes and deeply inhaling. "Let's.. Let's just get this done."

"Sounds good to me. Hey, I've actually got a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Go ahead. Shoot."

Connor leaned against the counter. "What would you call 'us'?"

"'Us'?"

"Well, you know how I feel, you're half way there... What would you call this?"

Evan slowly stopped scrubbing a bowl and it looked like he was think long and hard about how to reply. "Well. I...don't know. We're kind of like friends, but at the same time..."

"At the same time...?"

"I like you, I do, but I'm not exactly sure  _how_."

Connor dried off the bowl he was handed and put it away. "Care to explain?"

"I mean, I  _just_ came out as bi to my mom, and I've only been aware of my feelings for a few days-"

"So you're scared because it's new?"

"Kinda...?"

Connor chuckled and cracked his neck. "I'd like to say I understand, but really, I've always known I was gay. Hell, the first time I kissed another boy, I was six and I got socked in the face afterwards."

"Oh gosh. D-Did the other kid even know what was going on?" Evan asked, reaching over and putting the last of the dishes into the sink.

"Probably not. I mean, we were  _six_. Hell,  _I_ didn't even know what was going on. All that I knew was that I didn't give a shit that Jamie Klark offered to let me see her panties after lunch. I wanted to know if that kid's lips were as soft as they looked and if he tasted like chocolate, with as much as he ate it."

"C-Connor, I don't know if you know, but you were my first kiss," Evan quietly said, looking down at the water as he washed the inside of a cup.

Connor gently nudged Evan with his elbow. "You tellin' me you never kissed anyone before me? Not even a  _girl_?"

"H-Hey, you had your childhood and I had mine."

Connor snickered and took the cup from Evan's hand. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Did- W-Wow! Did Connor Murphy just admit that I, Evan Hansen, am right?"

"Oh, shut up and wash the dishes, you little shit."

Evan giggled and rinsed the soap off of a plate before handing it to Connor. "Okay, okay, b-bossy."

"I will cut you."

* * *

"You w-wanna watch something on Netflix again?" Evan asked, looking over at Connor.

"Meh. I wanna do something fun."

"W-We could go to the park or something."

"But I don't wanna get dressed."

Evan groaned and threw his head back against the back of the couch. He grunted when he felt a sudden weight in his lap and looked down to see his laptop.

"C-C-Connor, what-"

"C'mon, you've gotta have some funny shit on that thing; you're friends with Kleinman, aren't you?"

Evan snickered. "Did you j-just s-say that Jared is f-funny?"

"No, I was trying to say that he seems like the kind of guy that sends his friends really shitty photo edits and memes at the asscrack of dawn."

Evan snorted and logged into his laptop. "Well, you're right." He immediately went to his files and double clicked one labeled 'True Hell'.

"Really? Is it all _that_ bad?" Connor asked, moving closer to get a better look.

"Wait," Evan replied, pulling up the first photo.

It was of Jared at what seemed to be a amusement park; he was grinning and giving a thumbs up. Connor thought that it was only him, but when he looked closer, he could see Evan in the background. He was bent over a trash can and Connor could only guess that he was throwing up whatever he'd had for lunch that day.

"What the hell did you ride?" he asked, looking over at Evan.

"I can't e-even remember anymore; it's b-been so long."

"Hm. Next!"

Evan clicked the right arrow and groaned when he saw the picture. "Okay, this was f-from the first grade w-w-when I played the prince in Cinderella. If you c-can't tell, I was  _very_ happy."

Connor snickered at the sight of a 5-6 year old Evan in a blue sequined outfit up on a small stage. In the background of this one, he saw Jared standing at the side of the stage, making an unflattering face, most likely trying to make Evan mess up. Evan clicked to the next picture and burst out laughing. Connor couldn't understand why. All that it was, was Jared eating a weird looking cupcake thing.

"Hansen, why-  _Wait._ Evan,  _is that a fucking bathbomb!?_ WHY WAS JARED EATING A BATHBOMB!? EVAN, ANSWER ME."

"H-H-He l-loves the _c-c-cronch!_ " Evan managed to yell before his laughter took over again.

 Connor had never heard Evan laugh like this before.. usually it was just a quiet giggle or a small snicker. He crossed his arms and waited for Evan to tire himself out.

"Does he really say that or did you come up with that?"

"H-He m-m-made it up himself," Evan replied as he slowly managed to get his laughter under control.

"You need to get your friend under control," Connor sighed. "Can I move closer? I can't see shit over here anymore."

Evan nodded his head. "S-Sure. Thanks for asking."

"Hmm. So that's how you work."

"W-What?"

"How you deal with your anxiety, I mean. You know, people getting too close, touching.. Why am I explaining this?"

Evan giggled. "B-Because you're an idiot?"

Connor rolled his eyes and stayed quiet, but didn't disagree. "That was a Heathers reference, wasn't it?"

"Of c-course it was."

There was a faint 'click' and the next picture in the folder popped up. Connor watched as Evan grimaced and he grunted when the laptop was shoved into his lap.

"Mind tellin' me the story behind this one?"

The picture was of Jared grinning at the camera and giving a thumbs up, like in the first picture, except this time he was on the floor next to Evan, who was on his knees in front of a toilet with his head practically in the toilet, most likely throwing up.

Evan sighed. "Okay. Um, th-this was from the night that I got drunk at Jared's house. Apparently, he says that I-.. I managed to down an entire bottle of Vodka from his parents' liquor cabinet and I threw up for most of the night."

"Evan "Tree Boy" Hansen downed a whole bottle of Vodka? Jesus, what has this world come to?"

"B-Be quiet and go to the next one."

Connor did as Evan said and was met with loud laughter from the speakers. "Jesus Christ. Is that Kleinman?"

"Yes. Th-This was the time when we were hanging out i-in my room and he took the homework I was working on th-then hid in the bathroom."

_"Jared! Give me my homework back!"_

_"No can do, Acorn."_

Connor snickered. "'Acorn'?"

"Sh-Shush."

_"You b-b-b-better not be drawing d-dicks on my paper!"_

There was silence as the video showed Jared slowly drawing very detailed dicks on Evan's paper in red Sharpie, along with the sound of loud banging in the background.

_"JARED!"_

The video ended and Connor sat there, snickering.

"...I had to turn that paper in. My mom had to buy me, like, f-f-five bottles of that white-out stuff!" Evan exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "Mr. Jacobs asked why there was so much white-out on my paper! You know him, don't you? H-He's the-"

"The history teacher. Yeah, I know. I've gotten into 'debates' with him after class before. Hey, can I smoke in here?"

Evan shook his head. "No. B-But we can go outside?"

"Mmmm... Sure." Connor rose to his feet and offered his hand to Evan, who rolled his eyes and batted the boy's outstretched hand.

"I think your jacket is still up in my room," he said, standing up and cracking his back.

"I'll run up and get it." Connor turned on his heel and took off up the stairs, taking two at a time.

Evan chuckled and shook his head, grabbing his hoodie off of the back of the love seat across the room and slipping it on. It was something that his mom had gotten him for his birthday nearly two years ago, and back then it had been too big, but he eventually grew into it. Now it didn't fall over his hands and didn't pool around his waist when he didn't care to pull it down. The logo on the front of it was from a video game he'd been really into; 'The Evil Within'.

"Hey, I found it," Connor said, walking up behind Evan and making him jump in surprise. "Christ. Are you and acorn or a mouse?"

Evan pshed and made his way towards the back door of his house. "C-Come on."

Connor followed the shorter boy through the kitchen, pulling his cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He dug through his other pocket, searching for his lighter. When he didn't feel it, he cursed under his breath.

"Hey," he called out, "you got a lighter?"

"In the drawer under the sink!"

Connor walked over and pulled open the drawer, grabbing the small Bic lighter on top of a box of matches. He went to close the drawer, but stopped when he saw the picture in the corner. Looking closely at it, he saw that it was Evan with his mom and dad. Evan looked to be around the age of three and his parents looked way younger; Patrick had most of his hair and the lines under Heidi's eyes weren't as deep. Heidi had Evan in her arms and Evan had one arm around her neck while the other one tightly held a stuffed bear. Patrick had an arm around Heidi's shoulders, while his other hand rested on Evan's shoulder. They were all smiling.

"Hey, you coming?" Evan asked from outside.

Connor quickly shut the drawer and made his way over to the door, pushing it open and stepping out onto the back porch.

"I'm queer!" he loudly announced and Evan quickly tried to shush him.

"Connor, I-I have neighbors!"

"Does it look like I give a shit?"

Evan rolled his eyes and looked away, but Connor could see the faint smile on his face. Connor leaned against the house and put the cigarette between his lips and cupped his hand around it, protecting it from the wind as he flicked the lighter on and lit the cigarette.

"Want one?" he asked, offering his pack of cigarettes to Evan.

"Oh, n-no. I don't smoke."

Connor shrugged. "Suit yourself."

 He took a long drag from the cigarette and blew a large cloud of smoke out of his mouth with the remaining smoke slowly being blown out of his nose. "Well. It's pretty nice out here."

Evan nodded his head. "Yeah. It really-.. It really is, isn't it?"

"It's calm.'

"Wait until the birds come around. They  _shriek_ at eachother."

Connor snickered and took another shorter drag from the cigarette. "Well that's their way of talking. Granted, humans are no different, especially when we fight."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. So, what do you want to do after this?"

"Netflix."

"Okay."

The two boys stood together in a comfortable silence, Evan watching the breeze blow through the trees and rustle through bushes and Connor blowing smoke through his nose as he watched a small kitten chase a bigger cat around the neighbor's yard.

It was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I decided to take my time with this one and actually calm myself down as I wrote this. Another reason this took so long, is because I was handling an Anon on another story of mine who wasn't very...polite.
> 
> But I finally finished the chapter and I hope you guys like it, because I sure do!


	9. Everything is Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More bonding between Evan and Connor, along with love from mom of the year (Heidi) and an appearance from the INSANELY COOL JARED KLEINMAN.

Evan grinned as the opening scene of Heathers played on the tv.

"You really like this movie," Connor stated and Evan nodded his head.

"Yeah. I really like the musical too."

Connor hummed and looked away from the tv, down to his phone in his hand. He was reading the texts that Zoe had sent him last night. She was apologizing for never showing up; their mom wouldn't let her go anywhere since it was past curfew.

"Connor, are you even watching?"

"Fuck no."

Evan rolled his eyes and slouched where he was sitting. Connor glanced over at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Evan's phone going off.  
He began searching for his phone, listening to the muffled ringtone as he search, finally finding it inbetween the couch cushions. He tapped 'answer' on the screen and put the phone up to his ear.

"Hi, mom."

" _Hi sweetie. Are you okay? You're breathing really heavily._ "

"Oh, no, I'm- I'm fine. I just couldn't find my phone."

Heidi chuckled on the other end. " _You and that phone, I swear... Well, I was just calling to see how things are going._ "

"Things over here are fine. Connor and I are just watching tv."

" _Did you go outside at all?_ "

"Mhm. For a few minutes while Connor smoked."

" _You didn't breathe the smoke in, did you?_ "

Evan smiled as he leaned back on the couch. "No, mom."

" _Good. I don't know what I would do if you had an asthma attack because of your own crush._ "

"Moooom..."

Heidi laughed. " _Okay, okay, I'm done.. For now. So, how's everything else been?_ "

"Calm, actually." Evan laughed a little and Connor glanced over at him again.

" _Well that's good. At least you haven't burned the house down yet._ "

Evan grinned and shifted in his seat. "When would we even have the time to do that?"

" _When you_ weren't  _watching Heathers._ "

"You-"

Heidi chuckled. " _Of course I know about your facination with that movie. Gotta say, Slater_ was  _quite the looker._ "

"Mom!" Evan squealed and Connor jumped, making the other boy giggle.

" _What? What happened over there?_ "

"Nothing. I just- I scared Connor."

Connor barked out a short laugh, shouting, "No he didn't! He just has a really girly squeal and it surprised me!"

"H-Hey! Don't butt in like that! This is  _my_ conversation!" Evan pushed Connor away and squealed when he felt something warm and wet on his hand. "Mooom, Connor licked me!"

"He started it, Heidi!"

Heidi was loudly laughing on the other end as she listened to the two boys bicker. It felt good to hear Evan sound so happy with another person and she was proud of him for finally getting  _out there_ and meeting someone.

" _Boys, boys, calm down!_ " she finally managed to get out. " _Just sit there and watch movies like good boys, okay?_ "

"Yes, mom."

"Yes, Heidi."

" _Good. I have to go now, but I'll call later, okay? I love you!_ "

The call was ended and Evan put his phone down on the table. Face up.

"You put it face up?" Connor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Most people put their phones face down so that people can't see updates, or texts, or just shit that they wouldn't want other people to see," Connor explained, examining the chipped nail polish on his nails.

"W-Well, I don't really h-have anything to hide," Evan quietly said.

"Oh really?"

Evan nodded.

"Well, give me your phone number and we'll see how fast that changes."

Evan snorted. "Are- Are you trying to flirt or be funny?"

"I don't know. Why don't you give me your number and we'll find out."

Evan thought about it. It  _would_ be a better way to talk when they weren't around each other, and it would give Connor a quicker way to escape his dad.

"Sure. Go ahead," he finally said, standing up. "My phone doesn't have a lock."

Connor looked surprised, but then he smiled and grabbed Evan's phone, leaning back and messing around in his contacts.

"I'm going to go get something to drink. Want anything?"

"Coffee."

Evan chuckled and turned on his heel, heading for the kitchen. "I'll see what I can do."

He made his way into the kitchen and started the coffee maker, grabbing a plain white coffee cup from the cabinet and set it down to the small machine. As he waited for the coffee to fill the pot halfway, he leaned against the counter and tapped it to the beat of a Heathers: The Musical song.

"How's it comin' in there?" Connor shouted from the living room.

"Why don't you come in here and see for yourself?" Evan called back and Connor laughed.

"Getting a bit bold, aren't we?"

Evan grinned and began to think about the past days. To think, only a few days ago Connor Murphy, who was now sitting in his living room watching tv and relaxing on the couch, was the same boy who had went bat-shit crazy on him for believe that the only reason Evan was in the orchard, was to watch him fall. Evan was so into his thoughts, he didn't hear the coffee maker going off until he was poked in the side. He jumped and sharply gasped.

"J-Jared?" he hissed, his brow furrowing in confusion. "How-.. No, dumb question. H-How about, why are you here?"

"What? Can I guy not stop by his friend's house to see said friend and steal some food?"

"Is that the only reason you're here?"

"Of course not. I came to see how our favorite school shooter is doing today. Not only that, but you weren't at school, and you've never missed a day of school since I met you."

Evan slowly relaxed his tense muscles. "Don't.. Please don't mess with Connor today, Jared. The two of you are already on bad terms as it is."

He grabbed the handle of the coffee pot and poured coffee into the cup. "Connor, do you want any creamer?"

"Are Kurt and Ram gay as hell?"

Evan watched as Jared put his hand over his mouth, trying and failing to hide his smile.

"I-If you guys actually talked, you m-might get along," Evan stated as he pulled out French Vanilla creamer from the fridge. "Connor...is actually pretty nice."

The smile was wiped from Jared's face in seconds. " _Nice?_ Evan, that guy is the exact opposite of  _nice_. Don't you remember the first day of the school year?"

"Of--Of course I do. I-I-I'm not stupid. But he's-"

"What? Changed? Evan, people don't just change like  _that_ over night. Especially people like Connor Murphy."

"E-Everyone deserves a second chance, Jared. Maybe... Maybe if you just sat down and talked to him, you'd see that he's actually really cool a-a-and-"

"Jesus, calm the hell down. You're going to hyperventilate."

"I'm not going to hyperventilate."

"Whatever you say. Now, I think it's about time I met this 'changed' Connor Murphy."

Evan poured some creamer into the coffee and mixed it before picking it up and walking out to the living room, Jared following behind him.

"What happened in there? You took for-... Why the fuck is Kleinman here?"

"Heyyy, Connor!" Jared grinned and waved from behind Evan, using the taller boy as some sort of human sheld that he knew Connor wouldn't try to go through.

"Jared decided to stop by to see how I was doing, since I missed school today," Evan quietly explained as he handed the cup to Connor before sitting down on the other side of the couch, leaving the middle cushion between them.

Jared sat down on the love seat, knowing that Connor would punch him if he sat down on the middle cushion and Evan would freak out from the close proximity. It was actually a pretty funny scene in front of him. Evan Hansen, sitting on the same couch as Connor Murphy and not having a panic attack, wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and a light blue t-shirt.  
Connor Murphy, wearing flannel pajama pants and a white t-shirt that was even big on him, mostly calm except for the narrowing of his eyes. Both boys had a bad case of bed-head, Connor even more so.

"So, how have you gays been today?" Jared asked, leaning back.

"Just  _fine_ ," Connor hissed through clenched teeth as he tightly gripped the handle of his cup.

"W-We've been fine today, Jared."

Jared hummed and nodded his head. "I see..."

"Kleinman, why are you  _really_ here?" Connor asked.

"I was just-"

Evan loudly sighed. "They're up on the bathroom under the sink. Good god..."

Jared jumped up from the love seat and raced upstairs.

"The fuck-"

"Bathbombs."

"Oh. Wait, did he even know I was here?"

Evan nodded is head. "Z-Zoe probably told him."

Connor carefully sipped his coffee, trying not to burn his tongue. There was the sound of something falling from upstairs and Evan giggled when he realized that Jared had probably dropped two of the five bathbombs Evan had bought for him.

"Does he ever even use those things correctly?" Connor asked and Evan thought about it.

Well, there had been that one time when he'd gone over to Jared's house one Sunday and his mom had no idea what he was doing, neither did his dad. However, they both had it in their minds that he was in the bathroom lip-syncing to some weird song. They weren't even close. As soon as Evan walked into the bathroom, he was met with the sight of Jared in the bathtub, bathing in dark red water, eating a black bathbomb. Jared and Evan stared at each other for a good five minutes before they both started screaming.

Evan giggled as he answered the question. "Yes. Yes he h-has."

* * *

Evantually, Connor chased Jared out of the house, his bag of bathbombs tightly gripped in his hand as he ran across the front yard, and when Connor sat back down on the couch, Evan was red-faced and giggling.

"I hope he chokes on those fucking bathbombs," Connor growled.

"He's been e-eating bathbombs since sophmore year. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Fuck my life."

Evan snickered and looked back at the tv. "You wanna do something else today?"

"Isn't there a new arcade that just opened up, like, right by the middle school?"

"Y-Yeah. Is--Is that what you want to do?"

"Hell yeah. I haven't been to an arcade since I was fuckin' five years old."

"Alright. I-I can put your clothes through the wash in a few minutes."

Connor nodded his head, crossing one leg over the other as he put his arms on the back of the couch. "Whatever floats your boat, Hansen."


	10. Fight For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone remember how I said chapter four took me days to complete? Well, this one took me a month.

After a lot of arguing, the two boys finally agreed on taking Connor's car instead of walking.

"I still don't get why you're so hesitant to take mine," Connor grumbled, slipping his black t-shirt on, still warm from the dryer.

"B-Because it smells like weed and if we got pulled over we'd be thrown in jail," Evan stated as he bent over to tie his shoe laces.

Connor scoffed. "It isn't  _that_ bad..."

Evan glanced up at him and they were caught in a heated staring contest for what felt like forever, until Evan felt his pulse quicken and he had to look away.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Look people in the eye for a second and then look away like you just saw the most disgusting thing on Earth."

Evan gulped. "I-I don't-.. I don't like seeing so many emotions at once and seeing the judgment in people's eyes as they notice how  _unusual_ I am."

"What do you see in my eyes?" Connor quietly asked.

"W-What?"

"Nothing. Just get your goddamn jacket on so that we can leave."

Evan slipped his dark blue jacket on, being mindful of his cast, and zipped it up. "O-Okay. Are--Are you ready?"

Connor finished lacing up his boots and stood up from Evan's desk chair. "Yeah. Lead the way, captain."

The smaller boy rolled his eyes but there was a faint smile on his lips as he walked down the hall and quickly made his way downstairs to the living room. Snatching Connor's car keys off the hook by the door, he watched as Connor stumbled down the last two steps.

"Nice," he chuckled. "Really...graceful."

"Shut up," Connor snarled, but there was a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Evan grabbed his house keys and quickly shoved them into his pocket. He opened the door and looked over at Connor who quietly grumbled to himself as he shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged out of the house. Evan snickered and followed close behind, locking both locks on the door before running over and tossing the keys to Connor, who unlocked the car doors and slipped into the driver's side.

"So, how did you get to the orchard the other day? I mean, I don't see another car out here."

"Jared gave me a ride."

Connor buckled his belt. "Why?"

"He owed me one for all of the bathbombs I got him over the weekend."

* * *

The car slowly came to a stop as the two boys pulled up to the arcade.

"You sure you're okay with doing this? I mean, there's gonna be a lot of people in there," Connor pointed out and Evan nodded his head.

"I'll b-be fine, I swear."

Connor wasn't so sure that Evan was telling the truth, but he nodded his head anyway and climbed out of the car. "Okay, well, how about I go and get the tokens or whatever it is that they have here and you wait by the door."

Evan nodded his head and followed Connor into the large building, unzipping his jacket as the heat from the inside hit him as Connor pushed the glass door open. He waited next to the door just as Connor had said, and waited for the other boy to get their tokens.  
While he waited, he looked around and eyed some of the different games that were in his line of sight. The one that caught his eye was some dance game that kids were circled around, cheering as a young boy and a teen girl went up against each other, dancing to Toxic.

Evan jumped when Connor suddenly snapped his fingers in front of his face. "H-Huh? What?"

"C'mon. I got us, like, three cups full of these things. Let's go do some shit..." he looked over to where Evan had been looking before. "..We can do that after we do some way calmer shit."

Evan nodded his head and took one of the cups from Connor's hand before he dropped it.

"So, what first?" Conor asked, looking around.

Evan looked around as well. "Uh... What about that?" He pointed to one of the many multiplayer games.

"The fuck is that?"

"I don't know. I've never been here before!"

Connor smiled and rolled his eyes, slipping an arm around Evan's shoulders, pulling him towards the game.

"Okay, let's see what we've got here," he sighed, putting the cups of tokens down on the small panel that was made especially for holding token cups.

He looked at the two different colored guns then up at the screen where zombies were running at said screen. "...You sure you wanna play this?"

"O-Of course I am."

Connor shrugged and slipped two coins into the coin slot, Evan following his actions then straightening back up to grab the blue gun in front of him while Connor grabbed the orange gun. A single black wire ran out from the bottom of the guns and were hooked into two jacks on the game.

Suddenly, the screen changed and Connor and Evan glanced around the scree. He tightly gripped the plastic gun in his hand and glanced over at Connor before reaching out and putting his hand over the 'Start' button for player 2. Connor did the same and put his hand directly over the button for player 1. At the same time, they slammed their hands down on the buttons and their characters were shown to be in the bed of a red truck.

 _"Ready! START!"_ A deep voice shouted from the speakers.

Connor and Evan took off, shooting as many of the undead as they could.

"The head, Hansen!" Connor shouted over the music blaring from the large speakers that were set up through the building. "Shoot them in the fucking head!"

"I-I'm trying!" Evan yelled back, rapidly pulling the trigger.

"Stop waisting your ammo, goddammit!"

"I-I'm no-not waisting it!"

Connor grunted as he shot three more of the undead characters in the head. "And I thought Zoe was bad at games!"

"Sh-Sh-Shut up already!"

* * *

Connor put the gun back and wiped sweat off of his forehead. "Wow. You got kinda out of character for a while, Hansen."

"B-Because you kept p-picking on me!"

"Okay, okay. What now?"

Evan pointed to the now open dancing game that he had his eye on earlier and Connor sighed, grabbing the cups of tokens off of the panel and following Evan over to the game. Evan kneeled down and slid two tokens each into the two coin slots before standing back on the left and right arrows on the large panel on the floor.

"Are there any good songs on here?" Connor grumbled as he stood directly in front of the game and searched through the songs.

"J-Just pick one that sounds good."

Connor rolled his eyes and picked a random remix of some song that had become popular in the past year then stepped back onto the panel. He unzipped his jacket and took it off, wrapping it around his waist as the countdown appeared on screen.

" _READY! SET! DANCE!"_

Evan nearly burst out laughing when he heard a remix of Meghan Trainor's song No. But he managed to contain himself and tightly gripped the bar behind him as the song began. It was pretty easy at first, but it got faster as the song progressed. Looking over, he saw that Connor was also tightly gripping the bar behind him.

"Ha-Having fun?" Evan asked, directing his attention to the game.

"Fuck you!" Connor shouted, slamming his foot down onto the back arrow.

Evan grinned and completed one of the faster moves without any trouble. He could tell Connor was annoyed at how fast the song was going and how fast the arrows were going by on the screen.

"Just listen to the beat!" Evan shouted over the music, giving Connor some advice that he hoped would be useful.

Connor mocked Evan, but listened closly to the beat, slamming his feet down onto the arrows along with the beat. Evan began to get nervous as other teenagers gathered around them and stared at them. But he tried to pay them no attention and instead, he kept his eyes on the game. He could hear Connor grunting in annoyance beside him and he snickered, knowing that Connor couldn't hear him over the music.

* * *

Connor sat down across from Evan. "You're an asshat."

"Excuse me? You--You didn't have to do that with me."

"Yeah, well, I knew that if I didn't, you'd get all nervous and anxious and all that shit."

Evan rolled his eyes and looked down at his cast that he could now see, since he had taken his jacket off right after he stepped off of the panel for the game that he'd just played. He furrowed his brow and looked up at Connor.

"Hang on. How did you get that Sharpie?" he asked and Connor stopped picking it his nail polish.

"...It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! Did-.... Connor, did you take it from my desk?"

Connor scratched the back of his neck and tapped his fingers on the table. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You'll never know."

"C-Connor!"

"You left it in class and I took the chance!" Connor finally admitted. "Plus I didn't have a pencil, so..."

Evan shook his head and giggled, looking back down at the cast. "Y-You could've just asked Alana for one. I'm sure she has plenty to spare."

"I already asked her for one once."

"And?"

"It was covered in sparkles and it took me twenty minutes to wash those bitches off my hand."

Evan giggled and leaned back in his seat, tapping his fingers on the table. "Have you talked to her lately?"

Connor cocked an eyebrow. "Alana?"

The other boy nodded his head.

"Yeah, I mean, here and there. She's been pretty busy lately."

"That's sounds like her. But I'm sure she has a reason, though." Evan stopped tapping the table and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat to look over at Connor.

"Uh..."

"I-I think I've heard her talking about college credits with Zoe during lunch."

"You listen in on my sister's conversations?"

Evan's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "N-N-No! O-Of course not! They were just sitting at a really close table one day and I didn't mean to hear their conversation but I did and I-"

"What do we have here?" a loud voice rudely cut in.

"You've got two guys minding their own business," Connor replied, trying to act civil for Evan's sake. "What's it to ya?"

"Hey Kurt, isn't that the guy who wanted to beat your ass in the library?" one of the others asked.

"I think you're right. Yeah... You're the little fucker who started shit with me yesterday."

"I didn't start anything," Connor snarled. "But I'll sure as hell finish this."

Evan gulped and slumped in his seat, trying to remain as small as possible. His movements caught the eye of one of the other jocks, who grinned and slammed his hand down on the table, making Evan jump.

"Looks like Murphy's got himself a little  _date_ ," the jock hissed, leaning down so that his face was mere inches from Evan's.

Connor shot up from his seat and slipped between Evan and the jock. He glared down at the grinning jock. "Look, man, just go away. I don't want any trouble, especially in a place like this."

"Why? Ya scared you're gonna lose in front of your boyfriend?" Kurt asked, pushing his friend aside to tower over Connor.

"No, I just don't want to be the one to beat your ass in front of a bunch of twelve-year-olds."

 Kurt's face scrunched up and Evan saw his hands ball into fists at his sides. He timidly tapped Connor's shoulder and the other boy got the signal: it was time to go somewhere else.

"Well, gentlemen, if you'll excuse us now..." Connor calmly said and moved aside so that Evan could get out of his seat. He was tightly gripping his jacket in his left hand while his other hand was wrapped around the hem of his shirt. His gaze was directed towards the floor as he followed Connor towards another part of the arcade.

"You gonna go suck each other off in the bathroom now?" Kurt shouted after them.

Connor looked over his shoulders. "The bathrooms are by the entrance, dumbass!"

Kurt seemed at a loss for words, and instead, motioned for his guys to follow him as he made his way after the other teens. As he neared them, he began shouting once again.

"You two fags gonna go and have some fag time alone? Huh? You gonna go fuck by the claw machine?" he taunted as he chased after them, the others snickering behind him. "Hey, fags! I'm fuckin' talking to you!"

Connor bit the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out and he continued to silently make his way towards one of the more heavily populated areas of the arcade, a bit to Evan's dismay. But he understood that Connor thought that Kurt and his  _dogs_ wouldn't follow them and embarass themselves in front of a bunch of people.

"You! Little fag! Hey, look at me when I'm talkin' to you!"

Evan tensed up as he quickened his pace and was almost directly beside Connor, when a hand tightly gripped his uninjured wrist.

"Cock sucker! I'm fucki-"

He was cut off when Connor's fist connected with Kurt's jaw, sending him flying back against his friends who grunted as they caught him. Kurt rubbed his jaw and glared at the two boys who were quickly making their way towards the games once again. He growled at his men to let go of him and brushed his jacket off before running after the two and tackling Connor to the floor.  
Connor grunted as his chin hit the floor and besides the ringing in his ear, he could hear high-pitched sreaming from surrounding young children. He managed to roll over on his back and grab the leather jacket that Kurt was wearing, pulling him close to his face so that he could spit in the bigger boy's eye. Kurt snarled and wrapped his hand around Connor's throat, lifting his head off the floor and slamming it back down twice.

"Fuking...bitch!" he shouted in Connor's face, using his other hand to lace his fingers through Connor's hair and yanking.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Connor asked and several of the kids surrounding the fighting teens cackled.

"Let go of him!" Evan shouted as he finally stepped forward, grabbing the back of Kurt's jacket.

"Fuck off," the other growled, letting go of Connor's throat to shove Evan back into his friends who quickly held him back.

Connor took the chance to ball his other hand into a fist and socked Kurt in his gut, grinning when he grunted and fell over in pain, clutching his stomach. Connor slowly got to his feet, but grunted when on of the other jocks roughly grabbed his hair and punched him in his side.

"The fuck is it with you fuckers and my hair?" he asked as he wrapped his hand around the jock's throat.

Suddenly, two men ran up and one grabbed Connor by the back of his shirt and pulling him back, while the other man grabbed the boy who grabbed Connor's hair, and grabbed Kurt by his jacket and pulled both boys back.

"That's it!" the one holding Connor shouted and the other two jocks holding Evan quickly let go and booked it towards the front door.

Evan stumbled after the two, shouting 'sorry' at everyone he bumped into. He sprinted towards the front door of the arcade and made it just as Connor, Kurt, and his buddy were thrown out. The two men whirled around and Evan stood completely still as they passed him. Then he heard the shouting from outside. He slipped his jacket on and ran out to see Connor already on his feet, yelling back at the two jocks who were holding each other up.

"What the hell is your problem?" Connor shouted at the two as he pushed his hair out of his face.

" _You're_ our problem!" Kurt shouted back.

"Come on, man, let's just go," Kurt's friend muttered, lightly yanking on Kurt's jacket.

"Get the fuck off, Aaron," Kurt hissed, pushing the other boy away. "You can go run home to your  _mommy_ if you want to, fuckface."

Aaron pursed his lips, but said nothing. Instead, he turned and stormed away, sliding into his car on the far end of the parking lot. He drove past Connor, Evan, and Kurt, shouting out the open window, "Get your own ride home, jackass!"

Kurt was practically fuming when he turned back to Connor. "Fuckin' fag."

Connor shoved his hands into his jack pockets and walked over to Evan, cracking his neck.

"A-A-Are you okay?" Evan quickly asked and Connor nodded his head.

"Yeah. I think my hair will survive, and what little dignity I have left. Let's just go now."

"O-Okay."

They began the walk to Connor's car, with Kurt shouting at them the whole time. Connor unlocked the doors and waited for Evan to get in before he walked over to the driver's side and slid into his seat. As he started the car and pulled out of his parking spot, a loud banging caught his attention. He turned back around from looking out the back window and saw Kurt slamming a rock down onto his front window.

"Get the fuck off my car!" he shouted, slamming his foot down on the gas and sending the car lurching forward, causing Kurt to fly off his hood.

He quickly continued backing up then took off out of the parking lot, speeding down the alley beside the arcade. He could hear Evan nearly wheezing beside him, and he slowed down a bit, not really worried about Kurt catching up to them.

"You okay, Hansen?" he asked, glancing over to see the boy nod.

"I'm okay.. I think."

Connor nodded his head and turned to face the road, slowing down a bit more. "...Is it just me, or did it look like Aaron fuckin' dumped Kurt back there?"

Evan softly smiled and giggled. "I-I don't think that they'll b-be t-talking tomorrow."

"Neither do I, Evan... Neither do I." Connor relaxed in his seat and turned left, heading back towards Evan's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't put off working on this, I swear. I've been working on this since the last update and I just now finished it. I'm happy with how it turned out and I hope you guys like it! Sorry it took so long; I know I'm a piece of shit.
> 
> Also, did anyone notice the two no-so-subtle Heathers references?


	11. Little Do You Know

Connor followed Evan back into the house and shut the door behind him, making sure to lock it just in case any of the guys from the arcade ended up following them. Evan slipped his jacket off and put it on the back of the couch before he made his way into the kitchen.

"D-Do you want anything to drink?" he asked as he opened the fridge.

"What do you got?"

"We've got a lot of pop, tea, and juice."

Connor walked into the kitchen after discarding his jacket on the back of the recliner. "What kinda pop?"

"Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper-"

"Mountain Dew."

Evan reached into the bottom of the fridge and pulled out a can of Mountain Dew, handing it to Connor who took it from Evan and quickly opened it.

"We don't keep a lot of pop in our house," he said, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Really? W-Why not?" Evan asked, sitting down across from the other boy.

"My mom thinks it's unhealthy to have a little sugar every once in a while. I mean, that doesn't stop me from buying Twinkies."

Evan smiled and relaxed in his seat. "Do you know how to roller skate?"

"That's the most random question I've ever been asked in my entire fucking life. Why?"

"I-I was just wondering."

Connor nodded his head. "Yeah. I learned to skate when I was like, four or five. When I still gave a shit about stuff."

"My mom took me to the roller rink a lot when I was little and we had time."

"Alright. Well it's my turn to ask a question now. Have you ever used a Spirit Board?"

Evan slowly shook his head. "N-No. My m-mom is really superstitious and I've never really given it any thought."

"I've got one. I got it from an old 'friend' a few years back."

The smaller boy shifted in his seat. "Have you-... Did you ever end up using it?"

"Yeah. Once." Connor leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You know that bridge a few miles from the orchard?"

"Y-Y-Yeah?"

"I went there during freshman year, alone of course, and set up all of the shit I brought."

Evan got up from his seat and moved to one the was closer to Connor. He looked over at Connor, who nodded his head and Evan quickly sat back down, now interested in the story.

"Wh-What happened?"

"Well, I set up some little white candles, 'cause they're supposed to protect the board from negative spirits and shit, and I wound up one of my mom's old music boxes that I brought for shits and giggles, but I kept it closed so that it wouldn't start playing music and attract any attention. I got the board out and set it down in front of where I was sitting and put the candles around it. Took the lighter, lit all of em, and bam! I had my set up."

Evan was nodding his head and listening intensely and it almost made Connor smile. Almost.

"I put my fingers on the planchette and asked if there was anyone there who wanted to fuck with me and nothing happened, it was just..silent. I grabbed one of the beers I brought and took my fingers off the planchette so that I could open the bottle and while I was drinking, I heard a sound that sounded like someone snapped their fingers." He snapped his fingers to emphasize what he was saying and Evan jumped a little. "I looked around and there was nobody there. I thought someone was fuckin' with me or something, but...but there was no one there!"

Evan gulped and his brows furrowed. "W-What if it was someone walking over the bridge o-or something?"

"There's no way in hell I would've been able to hear it. The bridge is a good fifty feet up and that snap sounded like it was right beside me."

"J-Jeez... Did you ever figure out what happened?"

"Uh, a fuckin' ghost tried to give me a heart attack. That's what happened. I ended up packing my shit up and hauling ass out of there before I got my ear cut off by a ghost. You got another question?" He took a sip of his Mountain Dew.

"Um... N-No. I don't-.. I don't think so."

Connor nodded his head and stood up from the table, walking over to the back door and looking out of it. "What's with all of the humming birds?"

"Oh! My grandma used to put feeders out at her house before she passed away a couple years ago and my mom thought that it would be a good idea. She said that when I was little, I'd always stand at the kitchen window and just stare at them. I remember thinking that it was so cool how fast they flapped their wings. Plus, she said that it could be a calming thing for me to look at, so, you know..."

Connor noticed how Evan's eyes lit up and smiled at how cute it was. In a very dorky way, of course. He cracked his neck and turned back around, walking over to Evan and leaning against the table.

"Is there anything we can do to pass the time?" he asked and Evan thought about it.

"I-I have some old movies on VHS that we can watch...?"

"Wait, you're tellin' me that you have VHS tapes?"

Evan nodded his head and stood up from his chair. "Yeah! I-I mean, most of them are Disney m-movies, but I have a few that aren't, if...if you don't like Disney."

"No! No. I like Disney. Certain movies, though. A lot of them just kinda annoy me, ya know?"

The smaller boy nodded his head and walked into the living room, getting down on his knees in front of the tv and opening a small cabinet in the entertainment system. He pulled out a VHS player and a small box of VHS tapes.

"T-Take your pick. I'm going to hook the VHS player up." Evan grabbed the VHS player and began setting it up while Connor got down on his knees and started going through the movies.

Most were Disney, as Evan had said before, but some were movies that he'd seen his parents watching late at night when they believed that both kids had gone to bed. After thinking about it, Connor grabbed  _The Sword in the Stone_ and stood back up. He looked down and saw the bottom half of Evan's body sticking out from behind the entertainment system. Connor's eyes slowly traveled down Evan's body, taking in everything, but he had to turn away as Evan began to shimmy out from behind the appliance.

"Did you pick out a movie?" he asked as he brought himself up on his knees.

"Oh, uh, y-yeah. Yeah. Here." Connor held out the tape and Evan smiled, taking it out of the box and sliding it into the player.

Connor shuffled over to the couch and plopped himself down on it, crossing his arms over his chest and crossing one leg over the other. He watched as Evan walked over and took a seat on the other side of the couch. Both boys tried to pay attention to the movie as hard as they could, but every once in a while, they'd find themselves glancing over for a peek at the other.

* * *

As the movie was ending, Connor noticed Evan's hands shaking in his lap and he bit the inside of his cheek as he reached over and put his hand over Evan's. He saw the boy jump out of the corner of his eye and quickly thought about taking his hand back and just keeping them in his pockets, but he watched with slowly widening eyes, as Evan slipped his hand into Connor's own.

"You okay?" Connor quietly asked.

Evan silently nodded his head. "F-Fine."

Connor nodded his head and continued to silently watch the movie. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and lightly bit down on it; he did that multiple times before Evan spoke up.

"C-Connor, you shouldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"You'll make yourself bleed."

Connor rolled his eyes, but stopped biting his lip and instead, focused on how Evan was stil fidgeting. He was drumming his fingers on the armrest and bouncing his leg; it was slightly unnerving to Connor.

"Evan, dude, is something wrong?"

"What?"

"You're movin' a lot and I'm just asking if something's wrong."

Evan shook his head. "No, nothing-.. Nothing's wrong. I swear. I just--I fidget a lot, I guess."

"You sure you're good?"

"I'm f-fine, Connor."

The two sat there in silence, watching the movie but mostly watching each other. Connor was watching Evan for any signs that he was uncomfortable and Evan was just watching Connor because he could. He didn't really have a reason, he just wanted to look.

"So," Connor said, clearing his throat, "have you talked to Zoe lately?"

"Huh? Oh, y-yeah. She texted me on the ride back from the arcade and we t-talked about a couple of things for a while."

"Was Alana one of those things?"

"Mhm."

Connor snickered and shook his head. "Those two are too sappy for their own good."

"H-How would you know?"

"I live in the same house as Zoe, Evan. There's not really anything that she can get by me, especially a girl who leaves a very faint smell of lilacs around the whole goddamn house and leaves bags of chips that no one in the house eats in the trash."

Evan giggled and the sound made Connor's heart beat a bit faster. God, this kid had no idea what he was doing to Connor.

"So, uh, when's you're mom going to be home?" Connor asked, changing the subject.

"It's h-hard to tell."

"Oh."

It was silent, and the only noise was the faint sound coming from the tv in front of them. Connor ran his thumb over Evan's knuckles and moved a little closer to him. He was surprised when Evan moved closer as well, and they were practically leaning against each other. All one of them would have to do is move about an inch closer to the other and they'd be shoulder to shoulder.  
Connor swallowed the lump forming in his throat and slowly closed the small gap between them. Evan suddenly became completely stiff and Connor almost moved away, but stopped when he felt Evan relax against him. They were both blushing harder than they ever had before and Connor could hear his heart beating in his ears.

Evan opened his mouth. "C-Connor, is this okay?"

"It's fine, Hansen. You're really warm."

"Well s-so are you. You're w-warmer than I am."

"Touche."

They sat like that until the credits began to roll on the screen and Connor moved to get up, but felt Evan lightly tug on his hand. He stayed seated and looked over at the still madly blushing boy.

"Something wrong?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Evan shook his head and did something that surprised Connor more than he'd ever been surprised: he leaned over and kissed Connor's cheek.

"Th-Thanks for spending time with me," Evan muttered. "And...listening to me."

"N-N-No problem," Connor stuttered in reply and Evan grinned.

"You're stuttering."

"No I'm not."

"You were."

Connor leaned forward and kissed Evan's cheek, making the teen's blush flare up again. "I was not."

Narrowing his eyes, Evan shot forward and lightly kissed the corner of Connor's mouth, becoming a bit more daring. "Y-Yes you were."

There was a deep growl from the back of Connor's throat and he slipped his hand out of Evan's, reaching up with both hands to cup Evan's cheeks and fully press their lips together. Both were silent and Connor immediately thought that he fucked up big time, and he could barely believe it when he felt a returning pressure on his lips; Evan was kissing him back. Connor let his hands wander down to Evan's waist and he tightly gripped the boy's shirt in his hands. He pulled him closer by doing that and Evan quickly reached up and grabbed Connor's shoulders, twisting Connor's shirt in his fists.

With a small grunt, Connor pulled back. "Evan, man, I'm sorry, but are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, you never really even gave me an answer to what you want us to be."

"C-Connor, I like you, like,  _really_ like you. And I'm usually n-not sure about a lot of things most of the t-t-time, but I'm sure that I want there to be something between us. I-I want us to be... B-Be..."

"...Boyfriends?"

Evan nodded his head and Connor placed a chaste kiss on the smaller male's lips. "Hansen, you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that. Even if it was sappy as fuck."

Evan giggled. "I-It wasn't  _that_ sappy."

"Okay, you clearly didn't hear what I heard, because I heard a lot of sappy shit come out of your mouth just now and you have no idea how bad I want to fucking kiss you because of that. Do you understand what I'm tryin' to say here?"

"I'm sappy and you want to kiss me?"

"Bingo." Connor pulled Evan in again and their lips slowly moved together, making both of them feel sparks.

Connor could barely contain himself, but he managed to for Evan's sake. The last thing he wanted was Evan to get scared of him and run off. He stopped when Evan whimpered and looked down at the blushing boy who was now almost in his lap.

"Everything okay?" he was quick to ask. "Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No! I'm just o-out of breath."

Letting out a relieved sigh, Connor leaned his forehead against Evan's. "Jesus fucking Christ, you have no goddamn idea what you do to me, Evan."

"I th-think I have an idea of it."

"Well that's a fucking lie. Do you know how long I've liked you and kept it a secret?"

Evan silently shook his head, something he'd been doing a lot of, and smiled. "I have no clue, Connor."

"Too damn long, Evan. Too damn long."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying to keep them in character but at the same time, I'm trying to get some character development going on here. Please tell me if I got something wrong. Please.
> 
> This took me forever and I know I'm a piece of trash, but I'm cool with that. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I really enjoyed writing it, despite all of the late nights.


	12. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need a coma

"D-Do you ever plan on going home?"

"Do you ever plan on getting up?"

Connor's question was answered by a groan and he chuckled. At the moment, Evan and Connor were both sitting on the couch, Evan sitting in between Connor's legs with the taller boy's arms loosely wrapped around his waist. Neither of them really wanted to move at the moment, but they both knew that they would have to at some point.

"So, Evan, what else are you into?" Connor asked, looking down at Evan.

"W-What?"

"Well, we're a thing now, right? So we should get to know each other a little better. So what are you into? Video games? Books?"

Evan gulped. "O-Oh. Um, video games haven't ever r-really been a big thing for me, but there are a few that I like. And as for books, I'll read almost anything."

"Even Fifty Shades of Grey?"

"Oh god, no! Never i-in a million years would I read that...that... _ugh_."

Connor snickered and rested his chin on top of Evan's head. "Alright, alright, I get it. You don't like reading porn."

"Connor, have- Do you even know what that book is about? Like,  _really_ know what it's about?"

"Eh. I couldn't give a single shit about it; but I guess it mainly has to do with sex, right?"

"It's a horrible thing th-that I don't even want to touch. If-If you put the monster book thing from Harry Potter and then put Fifty Shades of Grey in front of me, I-I-I would touch the monster book."

"Alrighty then," Connor chuckled. "What will you read, then?"

"I l-like nature books and non-fiction."

"Why am I not surprised?"

Evan furrowed his eyebrows. "I feel like I should be offended."

Connor blew a raspberry and Evan giggled, squirming a bit in the other's grip. They sat there for a while longer, enjoying the way their bodies seemed to mold together the more comfortable they got.

"We're going to have so much fucking make-up work tomorrow," Connor whispered and Evan laughed.

"I-I'm sure Jared will get us caught up."

"Hmph. You, maybe, but not me. I'd have to grovel at his feet and beg, which is something I'm not planning on doing to anyone any time soon."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Jared isn't like that, Connor. I mean, h-he can but a dick, but-"

"He told the whole school that I suck dick for pot in the seventh grade. He told the guys to meet me behind the school during lunch and I'd give them the, and I quote, "Best damn BJs you'd ever have." So yeah, let that just sink in a little bit."

The two were silent again and Evan picked at a loose thread on the couch before letting out a quiet, "I-I'm sorry..."

"You had nothing to do with it."

"But-"

"Stop. Let's just sit here and watch tv, okay?"

Evan nodded his head and looked up at the tv, trying as hard as possible to pay attention to whatever they were watching.

"...Wait. Since when were we watching The Fault in Our Stars?"

"No fuckin' clue, Hansen."

With a small sigh, Evan leaned back against Connor's chest and made himself comfortable once again. Honestly, he wished he could just stay like that forever.

"You're thinking of sappy shit," Connor declared out of nowhere.

"W-What?"

"You've got that look on your face. The look that says 'Jesus fucking Christ, this is really sappy but I'm going to think about it anyway so fuck you'. You know. That look."

Evan blinked a few times before he quickly shook his head. "That-- W-Why would you think that?"

"I'm not  _thinking_ that. I'm  _seeing_ it," Connor replied and then in a lower, more rough voice, "I see all, Evan Hansen."

"Stop being weird."

* * *

Evan wasn't sure what he was expecting when he woke up from his nap with Connor that had been held on the couch about twenty minutes ago. He certainly wasn't expecting to not feel Connor's body under him and then hear voices coming from the kitchen. He shot up and untangled himself from the blanket that had been draped over his body while he slept and then quickly made his way to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as he could.  
Looking in, he saw his mom and Connor sitting at the kitchen table, talking.

"I remember when he was in the second grade and he came home talking about some kid who threw a printer at Mrs. G," Heidi said, laughing. "I had no idea that he was talking about you!"

Connor picked at the chipped nail polish that remained on his nails as he chuckled. "Yeah, that was me. But, I mean, I didn't really  _throw_ it at her. It fell."

"Hm. Well, I guess it all depends on the perspective, right?"

"Sure."

Heidi glanced over at the wall Evan was peeking out from behind and smiled at him. "I see you're awake. Why don't you come on in? Stop being a stranger in your own house."

Evan gulped and shuffled into the kitchen, sitting down on a chair that had already been pulled out. "S-So, what were you guys t-talking about?"

"Elementary school stuff," Connor replied, finally done with picking at his nails.

"And stuff that happened while I was gone," Heidi said and suddenly, the warm laughter the had been filling the kitchen was gone and it was cold. "Evan, why didn't you tell me? If your-.. If Patrick would've been any less drunk, do you know what would've happened?"

"Heidi, Evan actually held up until...you know..." Connor spoke up. "He's got a pretty good punch and I'm sure that Patrick's gonna feel it tomorrow."

"Be that as it may, you boys should've called me! Evan, did you see that bruise on your face? Imagine what else could've happened to you!"

Evan was silent; he looked down at his lap and tightly clasped his hands together. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and when he finally spoke, his voice was weak and cracking. "I'm sorry, mom..."

"Oh, Evan..." Heidi got out of her chair and kneeled down in front of Evan, reaching up to wipe away the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. "Evan, honey, you've got nothing to be sorry for, okay? I get it. You were scared. But...you can't just keep things like that to yourself. You could've called me, you know? I told you that I'd always answer."

"I-I thought about it, but... But I just c-couldn't do it."

"He didn't want to worry you," Connor spoke up in a quiet voice.

Evan weakly nodded his head and continued staring down at his hands, which now had Connor's on top of them. He didn't know what to do at this point. He wished he could just curl up in a ditch and sob until his throat was raw and his eyes burned.

"Evan, hey, look at me," Heidi whispered and Evan's wet eyes flicked up to meet his mother's. "Evan, you don't have to go through this alone, you know. I'm here for you. Hell, Connor is here for you!"

"Yeah, and once Kleinman's done being a douche, I'm sure he'll at least  _try_ to be there for ya," Connor added. "I don't know though. I'm not the one who's been hanging out with him for god knows how long."

Evan laughed and slid his hand out from under Connor's to wipe at his eyes. Heidi smiled and put her hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed.

"Well then," she said, standing up, "I believe that Connor still owes us that explanation for last night. Right?"

Connor mentally cursed to himself, and then cursed aloud. "Damn."

"What, did you think I'd just forget during the day?" Heidi took her seat once again and Connor removed his hand from Evan's, shoving them in his jacket pockets as he leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. "Now, what happened?"

"Well, it all kinda started when I walked through the front door. My mom wanted to know how my day had been and I told her "It was shit. By the way, I'm gay" and then I went up to my room and..." Connor seemed to hesitate with what he was saying. "And I waited for Larry, my dad, to get home. When he did get home after a while, I'm guessing that my mom told him what happened when I got home and so he started flipping out and yelling for me to get downstairs. My mom tried to get him to just talk about everything, but he grabbed me off of the couch and told me he wanted me out of the house."

"Oh, Connor, I'm so sorry."

"Eh. It's fine. I got to spit in his face, so that was pretty cool."

"Y-You sound like a f-five year old," Evan commented and Connor scoffed.

"Shut up. I do not. I'm just saying, I got to do something that I've wanted to do since I was twelve, so yeah."

"Now boys, don't start fighting over this," Heidi said, narrowing her eyes.

"W-We aren't fighting mom, we just-"

"I think fighting would be if I grabbed Evan and threatened him with a fork," Connor casually cut in.

"Why a f-fork?"

"What? You want a knife instead?"

"I-I mean-"

"Boys!" Heidi exclaimed and the two teens snickered. "I don't think that that kind of conversation is appropriate for two boys your age to be having."

"Heidi, we have freshmen at our school that talk about having threesomes with juniors. There are sophomore girls who share nudes that they get from their partners during lunch and study hall. I think this conversation is pretty okay."

"...Why can't I just have a three year old?" Heidi whispered as she put her face in her hands and let out an exasperated sigh.

"B-Because you already have a seventeen year old," Evan pointed out and Connor chuckled.

Heidi looked up with narrowed eyes that rendered the two boys silent. Clearing her throat, she leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling for a minute before glancing over at the two teens looking at her, expecting  _something._

"Well, boys, I guess that there's really nothing else to talk about. If the two of you want to go and watch tv or something, you're welcome to. I'm going to head down into the basement and start a load of laundry."

"Why don't you let us do the laundry, mom?" Evan asked, shifting in his seat. "Y-You should go and-- Go and lay down, or something."

"Evan, I don't know-"

"We'll be fine, Heidi. We're grown; we know how to do laundry," Connor quickly said, siding with Evan.

"Well, if you insist-"

"We do!" Evan exclaimed as he stood up from his seat.

"Yeah. Go and lay down. Relax!"

Heidi rolled her eyes and smiled. "I take back what I said about having a three year old."

Connor snorted. "Yeah, there's no way you'd ever get a toddler to do your laundry or clean up their own messes."

"You cleaned up your messes?"

"Mom! W-We aren't kids!" Evan groaned and stood up from his chair.

Connor was close behind and nodded his head in agreement. But as Evan opened his mouth to see something else, Connor slung his arm over the shorter boy's shoulders and practically dragged him down to the basement, which he'd found earlier that day when he was trying to find the bathroom. He turned the door knob and pulled the door open, marching into the darkness of the cold, drafty basement that gave Evan nightmares as a child.

"So, you down for makin' out on top of the washer?" Connor asked, treating the question like something that one person would just casually ask another on a normal day.

"C-C-Connor!" Evan hissed, tightly bunching the bottom hem of his shirt in his hands.

"What? It was just an idea..."

"You're i-impossible."

"Yeah, but you put up with me."

Evan rolled his eyes and broke off from Connor to make his way over to the dryer, where a basket full of dirty clothes sat on top of the machine. "Connor, I swear that if you try to pull out any of my underwear, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Ooh, feisty."

Evan stuck his tongue out and Connor wiggled his eyebrows, causing Evan's blush to flare up. The shorter boy whirled back around and started shoving clothes into the washing machine.

"Evan?" Connor slowly made his way towards the still madly blushing boy. "Evan? I think you're over-filling the washer. Hey, Evan! Evan stop oh my god-" Connor grabbed the clothes basket off of the dryer and back peddled away from Evan.

"Connor, g-give me the basket back. Please," Evan said, turning around to fave the taller teen.

"Uh, no. I don't think so."

"W-Why not?"

"Because you literally just went on a rampage and started shoving random clothes into the washer. So, yeah, hell to the no."

"Connor, please?" Evan gave his best puppy-dog eyes, but Connor continued his refusal.

"Nah. Nice face, though. But you should try it on someone else."

"C'mon, I-I'm asking nicely."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't give a shit."

"C-Connor!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been a little shit and haven't updated in for-fucking-ever, but I needed a long break from writing (even though I really didn't take a break) so that I could focus on my school life a bit more. Plus it's been fair week here in town and I've been enjoying the time off with my friends. I wish that I could've gotten this up sooner, but...that clearly didn't happen.
> 
> I know that Connor's been being a little 'sweet' in recent chapters, so to make up for that, there's going to be a lot of angst in the next chapter. I'm not sure how I'm going to incorporate it yet, but it'll happen. I swear. Even though I really like writing sweet Connor, a lot of people in the fandom fucking despise it for some goddamn reason and they're like "No! You must write angst! Do it!!! Connor and Evan aren't allowed to have a completely stable relationship!!!!!" so yeah.


	13. Rift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a long chapter, mainly because I want to draw it out and keep it real. I recommend that you read the end note, too, even though it's pretty damn long.

After folding and putting the laundry away, Evan had popped  _Grease_ into the VCR and curled up on the couch with Connor. His mom was just finishing getting ready for her third shift and he could hear her searching through her purse in the kitchen, loudly cursing every few seconds.

"Mom? What is it?" Evan asked, looking over the back of the couch.

"I can't find my keys."

"They're on the hook by the door."

Heidi snatched up her purse and quickly walked over to the hooks by the door where, as Evan had said, her key hung along with several others. "Thank you, sweetie."

Evan mumbled out a small 'Mhm' before snuggling back into Connor's side. He'd gotten extremely comfortable with the other boy's body heat.

"Okay, now remember: bed by nine and no funny business while I'm gone, got it?" Heidi asked, narrowing her eyes at the two teens.

"So the basement meth lab is outta the question?" Connor asked and Evan jolted in his arms.

"I'm glad you understand my rules," Heidi lightheartedly replied with a grin.

"Ugh," Evan groaned, sinking down. "I heavily dislike both of you."

"'Heavily dislike'?" Connor's brow furrowed.

"Hate is a strong word, Connor."

"I taught him well," Heidi said with a small laugh.

"Mom, you're gonna be late."

"Right! Well, you both know the rules and you know that I expect them to be followed. Call me if you need anything." As she passed by the couch, she leaned over and kissed Evan's temple and ruffled Connor's unruly mane of hair.

The boys tiredly slumped down against each other and Connor loudly yawned, causing Evan to giggle. Connor grunted and shifted a bit, reaching behind them to grab a large blanket off the back of the couch. He unfolded it and laid it over both of them with little difficulty. Then, as Evan was getting comfortable again, he slipped his arm around the boy's thin waist.

"You're really fucking skinny, you know that?" Connor asked, his words a bit slurred.

"Mm."

"Is that a yes?"

"Mm."

Connor rolled his eyes and put his head on top of Evan's, which was resting on his shoulder. His attention slowly went from John Travolta and Olivia Newton John's arguing on screen to Evan's breathing; it was gradually becoming more steady. He moved his shoulder a bit and Evan's eyes fluttered open. He raised his head and looked up at Connor.

"We've got school tomorrow, right?" Connor asked and Evan nodded his head.

"Yeah; tomorrow's Thursday."

"Ugh. That means showers."

Evan laughed and Connor felt his heart swell. "What's so bad about showers?"

"Have you seen my hair?" Connor asked with a snort.

"Yes. It's a mess."

Connor went to run his fingers through his hair, but they got caught in tangles. Strong tangles. 

"You can use the shower here, you know," Evan said, leaning his head back against the couch.

"I can use every fucking ounce of conditioner that you own on this jungle."

"That-- I-I highly doubt it'll take that much."

"You've clearly never lived with long hair."

"Maybe not, b-but my mom has! She says that the more you use, the harder it is to get out."

Evan saw the change in Connor's expression and for a minute, feared an argument. But his fears were quickly debunked when Connor sighed; it seemed that he'd given in.

"Fine," he said, unwrapping his arm from around Evan's waist. "I'll go take a damn shower."

* * *

After both Evan and Connor both finished showering, with a bit of extremely vanilla flirting in between, they settled down in Evan's room for the night. As they were watching a random video on YouTube and making sarcastic comments about it, a small ding sounded from another tab. Evan sat up and switched over to Facebook. He looked through his messages and saw that he had a new one...from Kurt.

"The fuck's he want?" Connor tiredly asked as he laid his head on Evan's shoulder.

"I-I don't know," Evan quietly replied, clicking on the box.

 

_Hey, faggot. Don't think I forgot about what happened at the arcade. When you show up to school tomorrow, your dead meat, you little bitch. You'll wish that you never fucking crossed me and my boys with that fucking freak sticking up for you._

 

Both were speechless. How the hell were they supposed to react to something like this? Connor pursed his lips and gently pushed Evan aside and typed in a single word.

 

_*you're_

 

He shut the laptop and leaned back, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips before he realized how much Evan was shaking.

"We can skip tomorrow," he said.

"No. I can't have that on my record."

"We can show your mom, then."

"She'll make a big deal."

Connor sighed. They could always just deal with it tomorrow. He wrapped his arms around Evan's waist and pulled the two of them down onto the pillows and let the smaller boy curl up against him.

"We'll deal with it tomorrow. Okay? We can just hang in the library during lunch or something."

"I have study hall with him," Evan quietly admitted.

"What period?"

"Second."

Connor groaned and pulled Evan closer, seemingly craving body warmth at the moment. He ran his fingers through Evan's soft, still slightly wet, hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

"Just try to ignore him for the day. If he starts shit after school, then at least I can kick his ass and not get in trouble."

"You can if it's on school grounds."

"Shut the hell up."

* * *

When Evan's alarm went off at 6:50 in the morning, neither boy was prepared and both ended up knocking their foreheads together as they quickly sat up. Connor groaned and fell back against the headboard while Evan laid back down and buried his face in one of the pillows.

"Fucking shit," Connor hissed through clenched teeth.

"Ow..." Evan whimpered into the pillow as he reached up to rub at his sore forehead. "How the h-hell is your forehead s-so hard?"

"Fuck if I know. Shit. What time is it?"

"Um, 6:50."

Connor groaned again. "Do you wake up this early every morning?"

"Y-Yeah. Sorry."

"Why the fuck are you apologizing?"

"I...um, I-I don't know," Evan stammered, his fingers twisting in the hem of his shirt.

"Fuck, just-.. Ugh. Look, let's just get some ice packs or some shit and take care of it while we're getting ready?"

Evan quickly nodded his head and scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over one of his shoes in the process. While Connor was busy snickering under the covers, Evan began going through his closet, looking for an outfit to wear for the day. But if he was going to just end up getting his ass beat and most likely get blood on his clothes from his bloody nose or something, what was the point?

"You should wear that shirt," Connor spoke up from the bed.

"What?" Evan asked, confused.

"That shirt right there. The uh...the red t-shirt with the white collar."

"Um...why?"

"Because I literally always see you wearing polos."

"...Are they that bad?"

"NO!" Connor shouted, louder than he wanted to. "I mean, no. They... They really aren't  _that_ bad. It was just be nice to-.. I don't know. Forget I said anything. Wear whatever you want."

"C-Connor--"

"My opinion doesn't matter!" Connor declared as he slid back under the covers and slammed his face into the pillow.

Evan frowned and pulled the t-shirt off of the hanger then grabbed a pair of pants from the back of his closet.

"Um, I'm going to change now," he said and Connor grunted. "That means you have to stay under the covers, Connor."

"Okaaayyyy."

Evan quickly slipped out of his pajamas and pulled the pants on, buttoning them and pulling up the zipper; the metal was cold on his fingers for the short time they touched. He grabbed the shirt and slipped it over his head, slipping his arms through and then pulling it down the rest of the way. He smoothed out the front before he climbed back into his bed and poked Connor's shoulder. The boy lifted his head from the pillow and his tired eyes scanned Evan up and down, taking in his outfit.

"Wow, you actually don't look like a nerd for once," he commented.

Evan snorted. "You're nice this morning."

"Mmm. I'm always nice. That's my thing."

"Ha ha, you're a riot."

"I know, right? But seriously, you should wear t-shirts more."

"What happened to the Connor Murphy who would yell at anyone for looking at him the wrong way? Or the one who always looked like he had a storm cloud over his head?"

"Simple: He got his shit together."

A warm smile settled on Evan's face and he slowly reached forward to brush some of Connor's long hair out of his face. They stayed in that position, Connor's hand laying on top of Evan's thigh and Evan running his fingers through Connor's hair, until a knock on the door startled them.

"Are you boys awake?" Heidi asked, her voice muffled through the door.

"Y-Yeah mom!" Evan called back as he scrambled off of the bed and ran over to the desk in the corner of his room.

"Are both of you decent?"

"Decent?"

"Clothed."

"Oh, uh, y-yeah!"

The handle turned and Heidi pushed the door open. In her hand, she held a plastic Walmart bag that had 'Connor' scribbled on the front in pink Sharpie. Evan and Connor shared a confused look before looking over at the older woman.

"This was on the front porch this morning," she said and walked over to Connor. "I didn't want to open it, just in case it had anything personal in it."

"Um, thanks," Connor mumbled as he took the bag from her hand.

"Mhm! So, did you two have a good night?"

"Yeah," Evan replied as he nodded his head. "We stayed up a bit longer and watched stuff on YouTube and did, you know, normal teenager stuff."

"As long as it was the good kind of normal teenager stuff, then good. I'm glad you boys managed. Well before I head out, I just wanted to give Connor the bag and let you know, Evan, you have an appointment at 1:30 today; Dr. Sherman wants to see how you've been doing."

"I've been doing fine."

"Yes, I know that, but I still want you to go. He's there to help you."

"I know..."

Heidi nodded her head. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna head out now. Can't be late!"

"Bye, mom."

"See ya, Heidi," Connor spoke up from the bed where he was now sitting.

After Heidi was gone from the room, Evan heavily sighed and plopped down in his desk chair. He put his elbows on top of his thighs and put his face in his hands.

"Something wrong?" Connor asked as he changed out of his night shirt and into the dark grey t-shirt that was in the bag.

"I don't have a letter for my appointment."

"And?"

"And I'm supposed to! Every time I go there, he wants a new letter talking about how my week was, or--or how I'm doing in school and if I'm making any friends and  _I don't have a letter!_ He's gonna talk to my mom and she's going to worry, which is going to make her stressed and then I'm going to get stressed and I'll get so stressed that I'll start falling behind in my classes and--"

"Evan!"

"What!?"

"I'm all for venting, but you're getting out of control."

Evan gulped and nodded his head. "You're right. Sorry. Just... I don't want any of this to be harder than it has to be."

"Sometimes you can't control it, ya know? Some things just suck ass in general and there's nothing that you can do about it except ride it out and hope for the best." Connor buttoned and zipped his jeans and stood up from the bed.

"You should put that as your senior quote," Evan said with a smile.

"If I live to see the day. But seriously, Evan. I know I'm not the person you'd expect to be hearing this from, but things will get better. Especially for someone like you."

Evan lifted his face from his hands and looked over at Connor, who was lacing up his boots. "You need to brush your hair."

"Nah. I'll just fuckin' put it up or something. I'm gonna need it out of my face anyway."

"Why?"

"So it doesn't get in the way while I'm beating the shit out of Kurt."

* * *

Connor pulled into an open space in the school parking lot and turned the car off, pulling the key out and shoving it in his pocket. He looked over at Evan, who was blankly looking out the window.

"Evan? You okay?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you still worrying about the letter?"

"Not-..Um... N-Not really. I mean, yes I'm still worrying about it just-- Just not as much as I was before."

"Is it Kurt?"

Evan took a shaky breath. "Yeah. Yeah it's-.. It's Kurt."

"Like I said, I'll beat the shit out of him if he starts anything."

"Connor, I don't want you getting in trouble."

"What if I  _want_ to get in trouble?"

"That-- Why would you want to get in trouble?"

Connor shrugged and got out of the car, slamming his door shut and walking over to Evan's side. The boy still inside the car was confused, to say the least, until his door was pulled open by a smirking Connor.

"You gettin' out, princess?"

Evan's face turned an extravagant shade of red as he picked his stuff up from the floor of the car and stumbled out. He stared at the ground, refusing to make eye contact. Instead, he silently followed Connor into the school. Students stared and some whispered, but no one approached them. And they liked it. Granted, Evan didn't enjoy being the center of attention and having people whisper about him, but it still seemed better than being approached by someone he never talked to or has no connections with whatsoever.

"Hey, Ev, you listening?"

"W-What?" Evan jolted and looked up at Connor.

"I was asking if you wanted me to walk you to class?"

"Oh, uhm, I don't think classes have started yet."

"They  _haven't._ I was asking if you wanted me to when they  _did."_

"Y-You don't have to-"

"I want to."

Evan nodded his head and directed his attention down to the tiled floor. He continued on beside Connor, who was sending glares in every which way and sneering at teachers. This day wasn't going to go by as easy as he had hoped. But when did things ever go his way?

* * *

"So, class, I want your presentations in by next Tuesday. Remember, twelve slides, several pictures, facts, quotes, and final opinions. Anybody have any questions?" The teacher, Miss Finn, looked around the class and nodded her head at a girl in the front row who had her hand up. "Chloe?"

"We get to choose who we do the presentation on, right?" the blonde girl asked

"Yes. But they have to be a historical figure. It can be, I don't know, Issac Newton, George Washington, John Church Hamilton, anybody. Just, please... Use  _facts._ I don't wanna hear something like, "George Washington was a horrible man and he can lick the dirt off my Adidas" on the first damn slide. So many freshman have done that and I don't wanna see it anymore. You can have that on your final slide, where opinions belong."

A boy in the back raised his hand. "Um, Miss Finn-"

"Put your hand down, Daniel; I heard enough from you yesterday."

The class, including Evan, snickered. Daniel had a knack for yelling about the founding fathers and almost every other historical figure and everybody in third period was done with it. The bell rang out through the school and the students collected their books and their bags and rushed out of the classroom. Students slammed into each other at the door, and Evan stood back to watch the fight for escape. He shifted the straps of his bag on his shoulders as he watched two girls pull at each other's hair and one girl yank a guy back by the hood of his jacket; this wasn't going anywhere. Suddenly, to Evan and Miss Finn's surprise, the yelling and fighting stopped and the crowd moved aside.

"You ready for lunch, Hansen?" Connor asked as he stepped into the classroom; he'd put his hair back in a pony tail.

"Y-Yeah," Evan breathed, shifting his books in his arms.

Connor turned on his heel and made his way out of the room with Evan trailing close behind, feeling as awkward and anxious as ever. He could feel eyes on him as he made his way down the hall with Connor and he felt himself tensing up.

 

They were all looking at him.

 

They were staring.

 

They were whispering...gossiping...

 

They were  _judging_ him.

 

"Hansen, you alright back there?" Connor asked as he glanced over his shoulder and picked at a loose thread on the strap of his bag.

"F-Fine."

"Sure?"

"Yes..."

Connor bit the inside of his cheek and said nothing. He did, however, slow down so that Evan could keep up and stay close to him; it didn't take very long for him to notice that Evan preferred it when they could be close to each other, even in public. He didn't mind it. The closer he was to Evan, the further away Jared stayed. As they turned down the main hall, both boys stopped dead in their tracks. Connor narrowed his eyes and Evan held his books tighter against his chest. Why had he shown up now?

"Kurt, you better step the fuck off," Connor growled, his tone threatening.

"Or what? You'll beat my ass?"

"Exactly. Nice to see you've got a brain rattling around up there."

"Why don't you come closer and say that."

"Because _I'm_ not an idiot."

Not another word was said, for Kurt chose that moment to grab Connor by his hair and slam him into the wall. Connor grit his teeth and reached up, digging his fingers into Kurt's cheeks. The crowd that had formed began cheering. Most of it was for Kurt, while others were just cheering for the fight in general; Evan ended up being pulled into the crowd as the students moved forward, trying to get a better look at what was going on. 

_"KICK HIS ASS, KURT!"_

_"FUCK 'EM UP!"_

_"GET WRECKED, FAG!"_

Evan tried fighting against the crowd, struggling to get back up to the front. A sudden cry of pain was what sent him flying forward, pushing past people without any form of an apology. In the middle of the circle, Kurt had Connor pinned under him on the floor. His hands were tightly wrapped around Connor's slim throat while Connor was scratching at the other boy's face. Angry red marks ran down Kurt's cheeks and blood slowly dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Without a second thought, Evan dropped his bag and ran forward. He used one hand to grab the back of the collar of Kurt's Letterman jacket, and the other to grab Kurt's hair and pull. Kurt, taken by surprise, released Connor's throat from his iron hold and practically let himself be pulled to the floor by Evan, who had let go after the boy was on his back.

"Oh god, Connor, are you okay?" Evan quickly asked as he got down on his knees beside Connor, who was sitting up and trying to get his bleeding nose to stop its flow.

"Do I fucking look okay?" Connor snapped in reply, sending Evan flinching back. "Get the fuck away."

* * *

Evan bit his lip as he started at the white tiled floor of the office. He didn't want to be in here. It was a small, uncomfortable space and it made him feel like he was going to throw up. There was the smell of some kind of out-dated Fabreez in the air, sending Evan's sinuses in a twist. But the horrid smell was washed away as the only other door opened, and Kurt and Connor shuffled out. The scratches on Kurt's face had gone down a considerate amount, and he was currently rubbing some kind of gel on them. Connor had rolled up gauze stuck in his nostrils, and was holding a small ice pack to the bridge of his nose; however, the bruises on his throat stood out among everything.

"I want both of you to call your parents," Mr Howard sighed. "..Or I will. Mr Hansen, would you step in here, please?"

Evan picked up his bag and made his was past Kurt and Connor, stepping into the safety of Mr Howard's office. He took a seat in one of the cushioned chairs pressed against the wall and sat his bag down. All of his attention was centered on the carpeted floor until he heard the door shut, and he looked up as Mr Howard sat down in the swivel chair behind his desk.

"I'm sure you know why you're in here."

"Y-Yes..."

"Good. Then tell me, what happened in the hall today?"

"I-I-I'm sure the security cameras could tell you more than I cou-"

Mr Howard held up his hand. "Evan, I'm very aware of what the cameras could tell me. But I want to know the whole story. Why did Kurt attack your...friend?"

Evan swallowed the lump forming in his throat and ran his tongue over the back of his teeth before speaking. "Kurt..um-... K-Kurt threatened me on F-Facebook last night and Connor saw the message. I-I don't know why Kurt ended up a-attacking him, though. Connor only corrected him on his grammar..."

"Well, we're currently getting things settled between Kurt and Connor. But where do you stand in all of this, Evan? Where do you fit into this equation? I know you're a friend of Connor's and you were the one to pull Kurt off of him in the fight, but where do you fit?"

"I-.. I-I don't know. I didn't do anything to Kurt at all, I swear."

"I'm aware. You've never been the kind of student to give me trouble, nor have you given me a reason to be weary of the way you act or live. Mr Murphy, on the other hand... I'm sure that you know he isn't the best person to be associated with."

Evan silently nodded his head.

"Then why are you?"

"I--" Evan bit the inside of his cheek. "I believe th-that everybody deserves a little trust. Even people like Connor..."

"How long will it be before your trust for him wines down to zero? What will happen then?" Mr Howard's tone changed; it became quiet.

"I don't know. And I wouldn't like to. A-Am I here just so you can interrogate me about my relationship with Connor?"

"No. Anyway, I think we're done here," Mr Howard said with a smile. "You can go to class now. What is it, fourth period? I'll have Ms Baker write you a slip."

Evan grabbed his bag and stood up, slipping his arms through the straps, then heading out of the office. He waited at the front desk while Ms Baker filled out a tardy slip and tried his damnedest to avoid Connor's eyes, which were boring into the back of his skull. As he hurried by the other boy, he felt something slip into the pocket of his jeans and the sinking feeling in his stomach grew. It grew so much, in fact, it felt as if it would burst at any given second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would just like to thank everybody who is still reading this, because that means that you've patiently waited through breaks and still came back. So thank you!
> 
> Second! I enjoy all of the feedback that I've gotten through this whole thing, and I enjoy that everybody in the comment section is mature and polite. If there was a grade for that shit, the grade would be an A+. Also, that means that I don't have to disable comments on this story like I've had to do with others; I'd hate to do that with this story. I thrive off of feedback, whether it be from a user or a guest, and it kind of gives me the little push that I need sometimes if I'm in a bad state of mind. So to disable comments, that would hurt me.
> 
> And again, thank you guys so much for reading and please, please, please keep the comment section mature. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but shit like, "What I'm trying to complete from this is that I found what life is really meant for and that it can be known to others too. What I'm trying to get from this is that I'm trying to tell you that since you're a writer on here is that there are other ways to fully express yourself without writing it out in weird ways like you do. You could try others with yourself other than this without being worthless with words and that others will actually show at least a bit of care for you in real life instead of mere words on here or on fanfiction." is unacceptable. That was an anonymous comment taken from the comment section of one of my other stories that I don't work on anymore. There were worse things that they wrote, but that comment is one that I thought related to this better. If anything like that shows up in the comment section, whether it's a guest or a user, it'll be deleted. And if it happens again and again, I already said what I'd do.
> 
> I know I'm drawing this out longer than it has to be, but I just wanted to get this out. Just be mature, be polite, and keep reading!


	14. Ready, Aim, Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever and I still think that pieces of this chapter are shit

"Evan? You okay, dude?"

Evan lifted his head up from his desk and looked up at Jared, who was looking down at him with his brow furrowed and his hands on his hips. "I'm fine."

"That's the worst goddamn lie I've ever heard."

"What do you want, Jared?"

"I wanna know what's goin' on between you and Myspace. I heard there was a fight today."

"Yeah," Evan quietly said, putting his head back down. "Between him and Kurt."

Jared slid into the empty desk next to Evan and used his feet to scoot it closer until it was touching Evan's desk. "Well if we're going to talk about this, we have to at least  _try_ to look like we're working. Get out piece of paper and a pencil."

Evan did as Jared said and allowed the other boy to snatch the pencil and write down whatever they were supposed to be writing about on the top of the paper.

**The Works of R.L. Stein**

"Wait, what class is this?" Evan asked, looking over at Jared.

"Creative Writing."

"Oh."

Jared rolled his eyes and glanced at the teacher before turning towards Evan. "So, what happened between you and Rapunzel?"

"I pulled Kurt off of him today, and he got mad at me."

"Why the fuck would he be mad at you for that? I heard he would've been unconscious in seconds if Kurt had choked him any longer."

"That's what I don't get! I-I pulled Kurt off a-and when I asked Connor if he was okay, he-he-he just-..Uhm.. He told me to-... H-He told me to get the f-fuck away."

"Ooh. Harsh."

"A-And I didn't-- I didn't even d-do anything to him."

Jared drummed his fingers on the desk and quickly moved his bottom jaw side to side, making his teeth hit against each other inside his mouth; it was something he did from time to time with he was deep in thought.

"Weeeelllll... What if he didn't  _want_ you to stop him?" he finally asked. "Like, he  _wanted_ to fight Kurt."

"I was just-... A-All I wanted to do was help..."

"Dude, not to sound rude, but you sound like you're about to start sobbing."

Evan quietly sniffled and rubbed at his nose. "I'm not."

"Liiiiies. Evan, we've been family friends for years now: I can tell when you're lying."

"I'm not going to cry, Jared. I'm fine."

Jared snorted and scribbled a few things down on the paper. "Sure. You're  _totally_ not going to cry, whatsoever. You're not going to go home and shove your face into a pillow and sob to your heart's content."

"I'm  _not!"_

"Okay, okay! So, about Connor-"

"Can we just... _not_ talk about him? Please?"

"..Sure. C'mon, help me think of books this dude's written."

A boy in front of them chortled. "You serious? He wrote, like, all of the Goosebumps books."

"Shut the fuck up, John, no one asked you."

* * *

During fifth period A lunch, Evan had taken a seat at a table in the back of the cafeteria with Alana and Jared. Alana sat in the middle, Evan to her left and Jared to her right.

"Jared, you did  _not_ tell her that," Alana sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"But I did!" Jared exclaimed. "And as soon as I said it, she chucked her notebook at me!"

"Whatever. So, Evan, what're you doing for Miss Finn's class?"

"I-.. I'll probably d-do something on Thomas Jefferson."

Jared snorted. "Oh that would be  _great_ to see."

"Too bad you're not in Miss Finn's," Alana said with a smirk. "You got Elks this year."

"Did-.. Y-You got Elks? D-Doesn't she only teach freshmen a-and sophomores?" Evan asked, leaning forward to look at Jared.

"Howard thought I 'needed more help' and told me to 'take a slower class'." Jared angrily stabbed his fork into his school provided Mac & Cheese as he ranted. "Oh, and then, I heard him talking to the counselor. He was saying shit about putting me in more sophomore classes, even though he fucking knows that I wouldn't get enough fucking credits from taking them."

Alana's mouth fell open. "He can do that?"

"Apparently!"

"J-Jared, y-you-.. You're stabbing through your tray," Evan muttered and Jared looked down to see multiple holes in his Styrofoam lunch tray.

"...Fuck my life. Shit, there's cheese everywhere."

"This is why you don't stab things," Alana sighed, handing her napkin to the boy beside her.

"Yeah yeah... When the fuck do we get out of here?"

"11:42."

"Sweet."

Evan smiled and rolled his eyes. He'd missed hanging out with Jared, no matter how much of an asshole the other boy was. What mattered was that Jared knew how much of an asshole that he was and he really did!

"Mm! Evan!" Alana quickly swallowed her food. "Are you still tutoring today?"

"Yeah. I kind of wish I wasn't though... But it's fine."

"I can cover for you. It wouldn't be that big of a deal and I'd appreciate the extra credits that it would get me. But that's only if you don't want to!"

"Oh, um, s-sure. That-- If you r-really want to."

Alana smiled and nodded her head. "You seem pretty tired today, so, ya know, I just though you'd appreciate being able to go home and relax."

Jared snorted and choked on his food. "Evan, _r_ _elax!?_ That's the funniest fucking thing I've heard all year."

"Don't be mean, Jared. Just because Evan's a little...worked up today, it doesn't mean that it's impossible for him to relax. Right, Evan?"

"Um, sure," Evan muttered.

Alana smiled and took another bite of her sandwich. "So, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but don't you usually sit with Connor during lunch?"

"Oh, y-yeah. W-We usually go to the library, but... We-- W-We aren't exactly on g-good terms right now." Evan bowed his head a bit and picked at his jeans.

"What happened?"

Evan bit down on his tongue and began cracking his knuckles. "N-Nothing. It was..nothing."

"Evan, what happened wasn't nothing," Jared said with a frown. "I mean, look at you. You're clearly not fucking peachy keen right now and I'm sure as hell it's not because of the cafeteria food. Why the fuck are you being so quiet about this?"

"Because it's  _nothing._ "

"It-"

Evan suddenly stood up from his seat and grabbed his bag in one hand and his lunch tray in the other, making his way over to a trash can and dropping his tray into it then slipping his bag on and hurrying out of the cafeteria. He knew he was overreacting. He knew he should've just talked about it. But he  _couldn't._ Every part of him  _wanted_ to, but...he just couldn't. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he slid it out, looking down at the screen.

Two messages.

**From: Jared**

**I didn't mean to make you leave, Evan. I just wanted to talk about this. You can come over after school if you want to just do shit. I think there's still some liquor in the cabinet.**

 

**From: Con**

**We should talk**

Oh god.  _Should._ Not  _we need to. Should_  means that Evan had a choice. He could deny Connor, or accept without a second though, most likely making a huge mistake. If they  _needed_ to talk, he wouldn't have that. It would be something that they  _needed_ to do. Something that  _needed_ to be done.Evan felt the hair on the back of his neck rise and his palms became sweaty. He swallowed the large lump in his throat and pressed 'reply' next to Connor's text. 

**To: Con**

**Where? When?**

 

**From: Con**

**The park. Right after your appointment.**

Evan turned his phone off and shoved it back in his pocket, then began his walk down to the library.

* * *

"Thanks again, Jared," Evan mumbled as he pressed enter, sending the printer into action.

"Eh, no biggie. Just remember: you owe me."

Evan rolled his eyes. "W-Whatever."

"And Ev, I'm sorry about lunch today. I guess I was kinda being a dick."

"Y-You're admitting that now?"

"Shut the fuck up before I lock your ass in here. Alana said I need to 'work on my personality', so I'm trying to not act like a douche."

Evan stood up from the swivel chair and walked over to the printer, snatching the paper as soon as it slid into the tray. He skimmed over the paper a couple times before slipping it into his book bag then turning to look at Jared. "Are you sure you have the time to give me a ride?"

"Yeah, but you owe me for it, too."

"Mhm."

Jared opened the door and let Evan walk about before him, before he stepped out of the computer lab and locked the door behind him. The two boys made their way down the quiet halls, heading for the back door where Jared his parked his car.

"Soooo... You ever get things cleared up with Connor?"

"No. I-I'm supposed to meet him after my appointment, though."

Jared nodded his head and pushed open the back doors, swaggering out into the parking lot. Evan snickered at his gait and Jared clicked his tongue, claiming, "You're just jealous that I have a sexier walk then you." He pulled out his car keys and unlocked the doors, quickly climbing in to escape the harsh wind that rushed by.

Evan was close behind, first setting his bag on the floor of the car, then sliding in to the passenger seat. He reached up and grabbed the belt, bringing it down and across his body while Jared complained about how paranoid he was.

"Dude, you don't even need that. I've never gotten in an accident with this thing and I've only ran one stop sign."

"S-So far."

"Ya know, I preferred it when you didn't know how to talk back," Jared grumbled as the car roared to life.

 _So did I,_ Evan thought to himself as he leaned his forehead against the cold window.

~~

"So, Evan," Dr Sherman sighed, leaning back in his chair. "how are you?"

"Fine," was Evan's curt reply.

"It doesn't seem so. At least, not in this letter. You wrote, 'So many things have happened in three days and they're terrifying to think about'. What's terrifying to think about, Evan?"

"Just-.. Thinking about how much has changed in three days is.. It's scary, Dr Sherman. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I can't concentrate on anything, I-I-I-I c-can't- _It's scary._ "

"Evan, calm down; breath. You need to _breathe._ "

Evan raked his blunt nails up and down his jeans, taking sharp breaths in and barely taking the time to let them out. He opted for closing his eyes and leaning over, putting his face in his hands. He felt like he was going to throw up. He could feel it clawing at the back of his throat and churning in his stomach. His nose began to burn and tears dotted the corners of his eyes. When he finally sat back up, he pulled his jacket sleeve over his hand and wiped at his eyes, determined to wipe away all signs of his tears.

"Are you okay?" Dr Sherman asked, concern written all over his face.

"F-Fine. I'm fine."

The older man nodded his head and looked back down at the paper in his hands. "Who's Connor, Evan?"

"He's-.." Evan stopped. What was Connor to him now? We're they still a thing? Or did that all fall down the drain after the fight? "He's...a close friend."

"I see. Is he the reason you feel this way?"

"No."  _That was way too fast._

"Evan, I can't help you if you don't tell me anything."

"I-- It's just...really hard trying to do this."

"Do what?"

"Lie to myself," Evan whispered, his voice cracking at the end. "I know that...that nothing I do will matter, and..I know that nothing I do will be, um, r-remembered, but... I keep telling myself it'll get better."

"Do you not think it will get better? At least after you graduate?"

"Why would it?"

The silence that then took over was somewhere between awkward and welcomed. Evan was internally overjoyed that he didn't have to say anything else for the moment, but at the same time, he wondered what Dr Sherman thought about him now. He looked across to see the older man sitting silently in his chair, his eyes closed and his hands clasped in his lap.

"Evan," he said without opening his eyes, "why do you only see the negative things in the world?"

"Because there are so many of them."

"Have you tried to see through them?  _Truly_ tried?"

"Yes."

"Evan, I want you to tell me about the good things in your life. Things that make you so happy, you forget about the bad things, even if it's just for a second, and I want you to write them down for our next session along with another letter."

"S-Sure."

~~

"So you have to just give him a list of things you like?" Jared asked, his brow furrowed.

"N-No. I have to give him a list of things that make me happy."

"Just write down some random shit, like video games."

"He knows I'm not a gamer."

"Porn."

_"NO!"_

Jared groaned and threw his head back against his seat. "Jesus fucking Christ, Evan! Just...write down what you think he'll believe then!"

"Jared, what.. What makes you happy?"

"Free porn."

"Jar-"

"I'm kidding! Shit, uh... The pride I get during Halloween when I scare the literal piss out of five year olds."

Evan frowned. "Jared, that- That's kind of...messed up."

"Says you," Jared muttered. "Anyway, we're almost there. Do you need me to wait, or...?"

"Just keep your phone on, okay? Please?" Evan hated sounding so desperate and vulnerable, but at this point there was no helping it. "You don't have to wait, but..."

"I got it."

It was silent as they pulled up to park and Jared drove his car around to the large gravel lot, where he parked and watched as Evan climbed out and made his way across the grass to a single bench where a figure clad in black sat. He heavily exhaled through his nose before pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and speeding out of the lot. He didn't want to risk Evan getting yelled at for him being there.

Evan wiped his hands on the sides of his jeans and bit the sides of his tongue. The closer he got to Connor, the more he regretted coming here. Breathing suddenly became extremely complicated for him and he felt a soft, familiar pressure behind his eyes. He deeply inhaled and shoved his hands in his pockets. In a single move that could've been better executed by a five year old, Evan took a seat on the bench as close to the end as he could get and dropped his book bag in front of him on the ground.

"You actually came."

Evan nodded his head, but thinking about the chance that Connor wasn't looking at him, he gave a small, "Mhm."

"Jared drop you off?"

"Yeah."

"Figures."

Silence settled over them again. It was the uncomfortable kind that was right on the cusp of being utterly unbearable. It was the kind that made you feel like you  _needed_ to say something, just to make the silence go away. The kind that made you shift in your seat so much that the teacher thought you needed to use the restroom. The kind that you feel during a sleepover after two of your friends just got into an argument and you feel the need to say something to get the positivity back in the room. But no matter what you did, it was the kind that wouldn't leave. It would stay there and soak into the walls, coming back every time you walked into the room, reminding you of that exact moment-

"So," Connor finally said, breaking the silence. "About today."

"It's fine."  _But it's not._ "I get it."  _No I don't._

"Evan, I don't think you _do_ get it. What happened today with Kurt was fucking stupid, and I was even  _more_ stupid to yell at you. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have done that." He got quiet, his eyes focusing on the ground.

"Connor-" Evan started, but stopped when the other boy looked at him. His eyes were different. Dark. They'd never been the brightest eyes, but... But Evan had never seen them this dark. "..You've got dried blood around your nose. H-Hold on, I think I have some wipes in my bag."

He reached down and unzipped his bag, reaching in and searching between binders for the small packet of baby wipes Heidi made him keep for 'just in case' moments. He felt the smooth material of the packet under his fingers and quickly wrapped his fingers around it, pulling it out of his bag and sitting back. As he opened the pack, he could feel Connor's eyes boring into the side of his head.

"Evan, I'm not worried about the fucking blood," Connor practically  _growled._ "I wanted to talk about what happened at school, so just stop avoiding the fucking problem and look at me."

Evan heavily breathed out through his nose and shut the pack, putting it back in his bag and wiping his hands on the sides of his jeans. "It's not that big of a deal. You were angry and I just made it worse so-"

" _Evan,_ oh my fucking god, dude, just listen to me. You didn't do shit to me, okay? I felt like being an asshole and you were the first person I saw. Shit, man, I just-" Connor stopped to rake his fingers through his hair, pulling them through the multiple tangles. "I'm fucking sorry. I was just so pissed off at myself, and I guess, I mean...I just had to take it out on somebody."

"Well, I-I'm fine. I'm not hurt or anything. Do you w-want the wipe yet?"

Connor snorted. "Fuck it. Yeah, Hansen. Give me one of those so that I can get this shit off my face."

Evan pulled the pack out again and handed it to Connor, watching closely as he removed the blood from around his nostrils and the bit on the bridge of his nose. Once Connor was done, Evan took the wipes back and dropped them into his bag before zipping it back up. On the outside, he was physically calming down. His shoulders were no longer hiked up to the sides of his head, he wasn't hunched over like a hunchback, and he'd stopped wiping his hands on his jeans. Inside, however, he was concerned and honestly, a bit frightened. Why was Connor acting like this? Why was he admitting to being, well, a dick all of a sudden? Sure, Jared was the same, but  _Connor..._ Connor wasn't the kind of person that just apologized.

"You goin' home after this?" Connor asked, pulling his hair back from his face and tying it up in a loose ponytail.

"Actually, um, J-Jared and I had plans."

_Wait-_

"Oh. Cool. By 'plans' you mean..."

"Homework."

Connor nodded and stood up from the bench, slinging his back over his shoulder. "See ya later, Hansen."

Evan watched him walk away, only pulling his gaze away once he heard the somehow familiar sound of Connor's car roaring to life. With a heavy sigh (he'd been doing that a lot lately), he pulled his phone out and sent a text to Jared.

**To: Jared**

**We're done. Your house?**

 

**From: Jared**

**Finally. You planning on drinking?**

 

**To: Jared**

**Yes**

As soon as 'read' popped up under his message, Jared's beaten up pickup truck sped around the corner, sending gravel flying as he tore back into the lot. Without really meaning to, Evan smiled. He grabbed his bag and ran across the grass, reaching the truck in record time. He pulled the passenger door open and threw his bag in before hopping in himself and slamming the door shut.

"Thank fucking god. I thought that I'd never see you in one piece again," Jared said as the truck lurched forward.

"W-What did you think was going to happen?"

"I don't fuckin know. That he'd cut off your hands and drag you to an abandoned warehouse where you'd be kept as his secret sex slave."

Evan blanched and Jared cackled.

The same shit as always.


End file.
